Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
mangobells 0
America has maccas INSIDE walmart? that is really scary.
katmandont 0
All over the south (ok, North Carolina). Every Wallmart I've been to had a MCy Dees
Free_Hugs10 0
In Georgia too. For the most part I think.
aDropOfSunshine 2
I didn't know there were still Walmarts with McDonald's in them.. Most of the ones around here have changed to Subway... Maybe it's a northeastern thing.
thorman78 1
There are quite a few in Missouri with McDonald's and a slightly smaller fraction with Subway. I'd say the majority don't have a restaurant in-store (which is totally reasonable).
PineaplePerson 0
Least you get condoms!
onnielief 4
Lunch usually falls between 11:30 and 13:30. 1) how do you take 3 hours to get ready 2) why didn't you ask your bf where you where going?
MrFlintstone 5
don't expect much from guys. we are lazy and cheap get over it.
Illyria_madison 0
dump him. clearly he only cares about sex like most men.
yessirfosho 0
Oh they went to lunch and he bought condoms. Obviously from that little bit of information you can tell thats all he cares about. You should have your teeth knocked out.
whatshernuts 0
Clearly you're a high-maintenance misandrist bitch who maws at any tiny little hint of being "disrespected" by your guy - and by "disrespect" I mean he even DARE find you sexually attractive, because that means he's a fiend who views you as nothing more but his sex slave. And he's especially horrible if he doesn't buy you flowers to apologize for wanting to be physically intimate with you! Funny what assumptions you can make based off of just a little text :P
Cazly_420 0
Suck Shit for being a stereotypical high maintenance bimbo. I love Maccas. My boyfriend and I get it take away, go home and rock Battlefield Bad Company 2.
SAYwhatFML 0
Why would you take 3 hours to get ready for going out for lunch in the first place?
britisher 0
hey, atleast he's getting condoms, could be worse.
yessirfosho 0
So just out of curiosity does it take you 3 hours to get ready for lunch because you're that vain or are you just that ugly it takes that long to cover it up?