Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML
Today, I went out on a first date. He insisted we go to McDonald's and split a Happy Meal because he "didn't want to waste any money on a first date." FML
Today, my boyfriend dragged me to the local McDonald's, refusing to drive me home until he ate. When I mentioned how dangerous that part of town is, he stopped and went all Walter White on me in front of everyone, spouting lines like "I AM the danger" and "I'M the one who knocks, babe." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he was going to take me out somewhere special, so I called in sick for work. Turns out he had made reservations for the restaurant I worked at. FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend to the store to get groceries while I was at work. Instead of what I listed, he came back with hot pockets, ice cream and beer. I'm lactose intolerant and pregnant. FML
Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML
Today, I went out with a girl I like. After a movie, we went to McDonald's. There was this couple making out. The girl I was with remarked about how lame it would be to go to McDonald's on a date. I thought we were on a date. FML
Today, I went to a fast food restaurant. The guy behind me was a pretty hot latin guy. When I went to pay, my purse fell off the counter. My birth control pills, a condom, 3 super plus tampons and an extra pair of underwear I keep in there for emergencies fell out at his feet. FML
Today, my husband thought I was still asleep while he was getting ready for work. How do I know? I watched him grab a condom out of his nightstand and put it in his lunchbox. FML
Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by showing up at his place unannounced with some take-out food. I got there just in time to see him leave his block of flats with another girl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Solkre 0
Three hours, were you sewing clothes?
koco4 0
I think she was literally putting on her face. I can understand if it was a first date, but not in a relationship. She just screams high maintenance.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (139)
lawlren 0
I really, really hope you're just trolling. Almost every point you tried to make was wrong. Please, go die.
Riverweasel 1
Dump his ass, and dump his ass now. Being a guy, and knowing how guys think, this one is not thinking of you at all, just what he wants to get from you. Leave this loser and let him rot.
jayemdoubleyou 1
Three hours to get ready?
mtc4ever 0
wow. it's lunch, and even if it was a fancy dinner... 3 friken hours?! high maintenance much?
fylnfmlxx 0
send out a mass text your dumping him
cactus_fml 0
Well, you're getting laid. Soooooo. Cool. And lay off guys, if I'm bored and I know I'm going somewhere later I pass the time by getting ready.
FockinA 0
mcdo at walmart, wow you must be so impressed with him huh ? good thing he bought condoms, you don't want his genes to reproduce anyway. prepare for a life of leisure and luxury. not.
Nikkiys 0
Make sure you order off the dollar menu so he can get the value pack of condoms.
waldofarmboy 0
At least you got laid
BraddaKaikz 0
whoa!