Health: Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back... - FML

By TooYoungForThis - 30/06/2013 04:36 - Canada

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 092

You deserved it 4 972

Walk the line

Our house, in the middle of our street

Can't do the time? Don't do the crime!

Sorry…

By Forever alone - 21/12/2020 17:02 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I was falling in love with the nostalgia of having handwritten love letters and flowers left on my windshield. Turns out my "secret admirer" was just a mean prank conjured up by my coworkers. They laughed. I cried, hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 187

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 14/04/2015 07:21 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 741

You deserved it 4 419

By drewig - 10/05/2010 05:28 - United States

Today, I was driving home from work when I was pulled over by a cop. She asked why I was being pulled over and figuring she knew I said, "For swerving because of my alcohol problem." I had a broken tail light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 136

You deserved it 53 452

By maxthndr - 10/02/2009 05:36 - United States

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323 747

You deserved it 38 807

Seize the means

By Anonymous - 14/02/2021 07:58

Today, I found out I make less money than the temps at my job by over 2 dollars an hour. I've been working there the longest and do 75% of the job myself. I was told, "We'll think about it" when talking to upper management about getting equal pay or close to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 06:09 - Australia

Today, I realised I haven't had a date in so long that I actually seriously considered meeting someone from online, purely based on the fact he could spell properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 913

You deserved it 4 265

By Tony - 17/04/2012 00:57 - United States

Today, my fiancée informed me she'd invited her ex-husband to our wedding at her parents' request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 819

You deserved it 2 132

By Noname - 04/12/2008 04:39 - France

Today, my two year old girl said "motherfucker". Everyone laughed, even her grandparents. Our family is insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 023

You deserved it 9 163

By Anonymous - 23/01/2015 14:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 035

You deserved it 3 052

By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the speakers on my laptop weren't working. I worried I'd broken something, and started freaking out. I restarted my computer numerous times and played with the settings for an hour before calling my sister in to help. She looked at it for two seconds, then unplugged my headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 088

You deserved it 41 201

Time for a BBQ

By Anonymous - 17/05/2019 13:59

Today, my friend hit a bird with her car. She asked me to get it off for her, so I reluctantly complied. It came off. In pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 190

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 05:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, after work, I came home to my boyfriend sleeping on the couch. Feeling romantic, I started to undo his pants. My reward was him waking up and kneeing me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 803

You deserved it 27 753

By Sexless4Life - 05/08/2013 18:33 - United States - Cincinnati

Spicy

Today, I realized that it's been well over a month since my boyfriend has even tried to have sex with me. The last time was our first time, and because he couldn't keep it up, he's too humiliated to accept any of my advances. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 766

You deserved it 6 911

By ripped - 07/09/2016 14:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my cat used my head as a springboard and ripped my earring out with her claw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 1 352

By runfattyrun - 25/12/2016 07:19 - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I got a gym membership for Christmas, from 3 different people. I think my family's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 356

You deserved it 1 189

By cartrouble - 02/10/2009 05:51 - United States

Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 036

You deserved it 2 836

Street art

By German;) - 19/09/2019 04:00

Today, I came outside to see someone had written on my car, "I love your hairy butt, pubes, and fat girlfriend!" multiple times. I wouldn't have been bothered if all those things weren't true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 216

By Username - 23/08/2011 15:55 - United States

Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 724

You deserved it 4 978

That relationship is toast

By Anonymous - 12/06/2021 18:01

Today, my girlfriend cheated on me and still played the victim. She went and told her friends that I didn't give her freedom. She said I didn't let her buy a toaster. We had an airfryer with a toast option! FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 122

By Username - 07/06/2011 12:10 - Australia

Today, my Facebook was hacked. The hacker messaged all my online friends, explaining that "I" was overseas, had run out of money and needed help. Not one person cared enough to respond. I guess the hacker picked the wrong target. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 630

You deserved it 4 914

By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 15:03 - United States - Dearborn

Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 384

You deserved it 1 413

By Anonymous - 22/11/2012 09:39 - United States

Today, I decided to go meet up with a guy that I met online for the first time. All he could talk about was how he expects me to "clean, cook, and submit" my body for sex at least twice a day when we get married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 564

You deserved it 6 163

By rockefoe - 30/06/2010 08:04 - United States

Today, I was studying late and kept hearing weird screeching sounds from outside. I couldn't figure out what it was and started getting really freaked out. It wasn't until later that I realized it was just my nose whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 792

You deserved it 33 394

By Anonymous - 05/01/2012 16:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, all because he's scared of my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 732

You deserved it 5 699

By Anonymous - 24/09/2011 23:32 - United States

Today, my brother handed me a sandwich that I'd asked him to make for me. Halfway through eating the sandwich, he started laughing hysterically. I still don't know what was in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 244

You deserved it 7 195

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 01:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 169

You deserved it 5 362

By SweeT - 25/10/2008 16:55

Today, I tried to pick up two girls by asking them what time it was. They burst out laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 909

You deserved it 55 035

Moving day

By Anonymous - 11/09/2015 18:49 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I told to my girlfriend of 5 years that I'm depressed about having no friends, no job and a difficult family life. I told her that she's the one constant that keeps me going. She decided this was a good time to break up with me to "find" herself, since I was being so mopey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 285

You deserved it 3 809

Kinky

By huskynick - 18/06/2020 05:05

Spicy

Today, it's been two days and my girlfriend still won't talk to me. Why? Because she made out with a mutual friend at a party, and got mad at me for thinking it was hot rather than being jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 594

You deserved it 581

By Ouch - 14/11/2018 05:00

Today, I tried to break up a fight between two of my coworkers. They decided to show their gratitude by smashing me in the face with a thick ceramic dish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 597

You deserved it 309

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 767

You deserved it 14 972

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 061

You deserved it 7 932

Cujo, but for cats

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 08:01

Today, my cat was incessantly meowing trying to get me to wake up and feed him. Because it was 6 a.m., and I'd hardly slept at all last night, my brain decided that the best solution to get him to shut up would be to hug him. The result was a normally docile and lazy cat giving me a nasty scratch next to my left eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 264

By Anonymous - 07/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 468

You deserved it 30 567

By horribleevening - 31/01/2019 22:00 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, my wife was sitting next to me surrounded by friends and she decided to start looking up the man that she had an affair on Facebook on her phone - all while I am sitting right next to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 495

You deserved it 257

By worksucks,Iknow. - 30/08/2018 15:00

Today, it's my first anniversary of being a manager! Today also marks a 12-month period of 30% loss in monthly income combined with 30+ hours/month of overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 407

Actor's Studio

By biggieT - 14/06/2012 02:21 - Sri Lanka - Colombo

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 897

You deserved it 7 539

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I forced myself into work with severe laryngitis. Normally this wouldn't be an issue, except I work at candy and ice cream store at a major tourist destination. For seven hours I had to communicate with unsympathetic adults and screaming, bratty kids by miming and using a dry erase board. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 743

You deserved it 8 497

By Anonymous - 16/07/2016 02:08 - United States - Spanaway

Today, an elderly patient complained because I used the words "vaginal" and "breast". I work at an OBGYN's office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 923

You deserved it 772

By Lilragu97 - 26/07/2012 05:14 - United States - Exeter

Today, I walked into my upstairs bathroom to find my mom's new boyfriend eating soup, naked on the toilet. In shock, I stepped back and fell down a flight of stairs, backwards, and hit my head on wall, leaving a dent in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 298

You deserved it 2 378

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:52

Gesundheit

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:52

Damn, that blows.

Comments

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:52

Gesundheit

hessel 13

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 14:08

gezondheid

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 14:19

Garfunkle

jc10x 8

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 16:54

Well that was snot very pleasant, was it OP?

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:52

Damn, that blows.

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:28

So does your response.

cuppycakeslove 20

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 13:21

I thought it was pretty funny :)

Martinez0285 28

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 21:50

careful... they might direct them... achh you :)

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 21:55

#11_ You shouldn't blow too hard, the stick up your ass might puncture something.

Send a private message

Thursday 2 November 2017 6:45

Very punny

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:54

Sounds like that sneeze was double edged, the recoil really got you, it looks like you got whiplash unfortunately...

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:36

seriously, I wonder how your nose would feel with that kind of kick?

J08J 20

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 11:54

Wow, you must have some sort of Supersneeze.

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 16:47

When I sneeze, I always sneeze 3 times in a row, sometimes 4, and it hurts! I can see how OP could throw their back out, I hope you're ok OP!

Send a private message

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:19

Not really - if you have a bad back, it tends to be sensitive to violent movement. When I sneeze, it feels like someone's stch a knife in my back. FYL, OP - hope that sneeze clears up soon.

Snooyroxmyworld 5

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:00

Sorry that must be so painful :(

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:06

Now I can tell this story to the person who is sneezing without covering mouth in front of me. Atleast he will be careful while sneezing.

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:08

Sounds like a lot of people were talking about you or you sneezed and stepped on a crack :O the old superstitions aren't infamous for nothing you know.

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:45

Interesting: I never heard of that one. I've always heard it as, if someone is talking about you, your ears will ring-- not cause you to sneeze. :P

CharresBarkrey 15

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 13:40

I thought it was your ears will burn?

DerrickJames 33

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 15:13

The Japanese believe you will sneeze.

chocofudges94 8

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:08

The first image that popped into my head when reading this was the sneezing panda. A battle between gushy cuteness and remorse for the OP now rages inside me.

CTMPandemonium 16

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:36

And now I can't get that video out of my head thank you! Lol ;P

triplebeerox 27

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:20

Good thing you sneezed! I was listening to the news and there was a man who held in a sneeze, broke a rib and almost punctured a lung. Sneezes travel at around 100 mph so better out than in though I'm sorry you threw out your back.

jw90 18

Send a private message

Sunday 30 June 2013 12:32

I don't know how one can sneeze so hard they hurt themselves, but then again I've sneezed so hard I've given myself a bloody nose. So guess it's possible. Sorry to hear that OP.

Nearly

Today, I live in Turkey and the dollar has risen to 13 lira. Just turks understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 4

Today, I realized the cute girl with a nice ass, long hair and a great personality I've been talking to is actually a very gay dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 38

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I had a horrible date with this guy I’ve been seeing. He wanted me to give it up, but I wasn’t ready, so he dumped me on the spot. I went home crying to my mother and her response was, “Stop being such a prude! What are you? Ten? Grow the fuck up!” Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 110

Today, my wife and I had arranged a threesome with a guy, but I was late home so they “had the threesome without me.” It’s not cheating, because I obviously knew she was going to have sex with him during the threesome, but me not being there makes me mad and I can’t coherently explain why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 782