Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
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Top comments
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
BountyBass 13
And so you should
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Comments (305)
Chad_the_Brony 0
I don't see why people are acting like 'good FML' users and saying it's his fault. Shooting a paintball gun at a beehive isn't the best idea, but how in the ***** of all the hells was he to atop the bees attacking his neighbors? Now, thumb me down because I have a different opinion to everyone else. Because freedom of speech is frowned upon around here.
muhehe 1
Every person is responsible for their actions. You don't have to be a genius to know that attacking a dangerous animal might result in the animal attacking you or someone else back. And even if bees were not dangerous, how is attacking their nest not a stupid idea? Thumbing down your comment is an excersise of free speech, not a violation of it. You have a right to post your comment and I have a right to express my opinion on it (by thumbing it down, for example).
Ugi 27
I can only agree with 202 - you do something that is predictably dangerous then if someone gets hurt it is your fault. The OP shot at the nest knowing that the result would be a bunch of pissed-off bees. Pissed-off bees are dangerous. It was therefore easily predictable that someone would get hurt. It makes not difference that the OP could not easily predict that it would be his neighbour that took the fallout.
DespairFaction 11
Because he is an idiot. It is his fault that the neighbors got stung because he agitated the bees and he obviously knows that other people also live around him so chances of someone getting "slaughtered" is pretty high. It's common sense and logic.
DespairFaction 11
Freedom of speech is not frowned upon just the idiot saying it.
Muffin_boo 12
This is a "THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS" moment. Lmao.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
You never mess with a bees' nest! They're very territorial. You're lucky you didn't get attacked but you should have for sheer stupidity.
MsMeiriona 2
For lack of a better word? A better word would be swarmed, mobbed, assaulted, if the neighbours are alive, slaughter is NOT the right word.
haterzgonhate 1
You know if one of them had died, you could have been charged with manslaughter.
Ugi 27
What the shuddering **** were you thinking? I'm only sorry that the bees didn't come at you. Then you might consider the consequences of what you do a little more in future. I hope you were man enough to go round to them and admit that it was your fault. You deserve everything that you get. And more.
skittlesmeep 4
You're a dick..
aerogxt 7
I hope you shoot another bees nest. Maybe next time they'll be killer bees. Theyre smarter. Maybe they'll attack the real threat, you. Forget the ambulance, just call the meat wagon.
stevieb123 7
What type on gun?!?
Ninjasaurus18 9
Just for the record, how was OP supposed to know that the bees would go all apeshit on his neighbors. Not your fault.
Ugi 27
And if you released the brake on a car at the top of a hill? Don't you think it would be predictable that something bad might happen?