Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML
Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Today, I made a joke about my electric lawnmower sounding like a bunch of angry bees. It was verified when I ran over a beehive in my backyard. FML
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML
Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML
Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML
Today, I came home from work to find that my neighbor's trash bins were still on the curb. While returning the bins to her backyard, her kid ran out and shot me with a paintball gun. Multiple times. He thought I was a burglar and ruined my new suit. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
supimnyancat 9
I pressed YDI after I read "Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest."
BountyBass 13
And so you should
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (305)
daddychang 1
Dick!! I hope you get sunburnt balls....
kurofuchs 5
I hope you get sued and then arrested for your incredibly callous and stupid actions. If not, I hope your unfortunate neighbors live so they can take it out of your ass for as long as possible. When they find out what happened, and they most likely will, they will own your stupid ass.
ZachAttack8 0
Haha. That's badass!!!!
monkeyhead641 6
Fml I almost killed 2 people and I lost xbox for a month
tylerknight99 5
So did you shoot a paintball gun at a bees nest or paintballs with a paintball gun???
toranator 4
You should feel like a total dipshit...
runnawaygirl 4
You are a total dick.
jdizz16 16
FOOL!
dubaixotic 6
I didn't know bees had ambulances. Those are some cruel neighbours you got there. Poor bees. To have their home destroyed by paint ball and then get attacked by your neighbours. That's rough. Hope they recover soon.
DJContravene 0
Op is God