Today, a kid threw a rock at a beehive while my friend and I where standing next to it. It fell down, and a swarm of slightly displeased bees assumed that we were the culprit. Knowing what was about to happen, my friend and I ran for our lives. He ran fast enough to escape; I didn't. The kid, the actual culprit, didn't get attacked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a bee landed on my leg. I didn't realize it was there until my friend yelled out, "Bee!" kicked me in the leg, and ran off. I fell to the ground screaming and clutching my leg. She missed the bee and it still stung me. FML
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run…" then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML
Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Today, a bee buzzed towards me, so I screamed and started frantically flailing and thrashing my arms, praying it wouldn't sting me. I threw my full cup of hot coffee in the face of the man next to me, and launched my laptop out of its bag and onto the pavement, where it broke in half. FML
Today, I saw a wasp on the ground, apparently injured and unable to fly. It was being mobbed by ants and looked certain to die, so I stamped on the ants to save its life. At this point it sprung up, stung me, then flew off. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, I helped my parents out by tearing down the old, rusty swing set that's been in our backyard for years. Little did I know that there was a beehive hidden in the long grass, and I now have dozens of painful red bumps all over me. FML
Today, I pulled a bee off of my friend's dog because we were worried he could be allergic. Of course I got stung, and of course the dog wasn't allergic. Turns out I am. FML
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Top comments
sixxis 7
you should’ve run towards the kid
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Everyone knows all you had to do is dive into a stream and breathe through a convenient hollow reed until the bees go away.
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Comments (5)
sixxis 7
you should’ve run towards the kid
Chazzster 32
Google “wasps” and “hornets” - In all probability one of those is what stung you… Honeybees usually make their nests inside things - like inside a tree trunk or inside a wall with a small defendable opening. Wasps and hornets make their nests attached to the outside of, and attached to, a tree branch or frequently under the eves of houses. Honeybees lose their stinger when they sting and they ultimately die from that - Wasps and hornets can each sting multiple times without it killing them. Both of them have related venoms. In my memory a single bee sting away from its nest hurts a little worse than a single wasp sting. But with wasps (or bees) near their nests you don’t just get one sting - you get several very quickly. But wasps and hornets are more aggressive than common honeybees. Wasps and hornets are particularly aggressive insects when they are defending their nest. If two people are the same distance away and one of them is moving, they go after the moving target because they know that’s the one who may have attacked their nest. It is possible to outrun wasps or bees if you are fast but you have to run further than you would think. It is best to leave them alone in the wild. If you have a wasp problem at home, they sell cans of wasp spray in the garden section of hardware and big box home supply stores. It squirts a long way and kills on contact - read the directions on the can. If it’s a big hornet nest either ceed that bit of real estate to the hornets in perpetuity or contact a professional.
RichardPencil 32
Listen, bees, Don't ASSUME. Otherwise you will make an ASS out of U and ME.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Everyone knows all you had to do is dive into a stream and breathe through a convenient hollow reed until the bees go away.