Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're...

By GroosedOut - 20/08/2009 12:32 - United States

Today, I saw my wife pick her nose and suck on her fingers. We're 38. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 595

You deserved it 5 402

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By jeesh - 31/01/2009 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 957

You deserved it 89 284

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 998

Confession time

By Anonymous - 24/07/2023 00:02

Today, I’m a 32 year-old man with a wife, a dog, and 2 kids. I still pick my boogers and eat them, and have no plans to stop anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 1 054

By blushingbride - 09/02/2014 21:59 - United States - Alpharetta

Today, my husband decided to pick his nose out before he would kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 363

You deserved it 4 442

By Anonymous - 28/11/2017 15:00

Today, I saw my 32-year-old boyfriend of 4 years pick his nose and eat it. The booger in question was attached to his nose and he sucked it out spaghetti-style. He then tried to kiss me. I still feel my stomach churning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 130

You deserved it 578

By slapstick1982 - 31/12/2016 17:25 - United States - Ashford

Today, I caught my wife flicking a booger off her finger. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because if I can't see where it lands, it disappears and is not gross". It landed on my arm. I saw where it landed, it did not disappear, and yes it is gross. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 993

You deserved it 171

By mandy_2480 - 19/02/2012 02:08 - China

Today, I had to stop my 26 year old fiancé from picking his nose and eating it like a little boy. Three times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 220

You deserved it 4 937

By fiftyno - 01/10/2012 15:02 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 4 122

By Wraith - 06/11/2013 17:27 - Canada - Holland Landing

Today, because I'm tall enough to see over the cubicle walls at work, I witnessed my 50-year-old co-worker pulling his finger out of his nose and immediately popping it into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 698

You deserved it 4 792

By inosehowthatgotthere - 10/02/2011 01:12 - United States

Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 352

You deserved it 52 567

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 20 August 2009 16:55

And that's the mouth you kiss. Yum.

CDS09 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 16:52

The 38 at the end is kind of funny...I dont think it matters if you are 18 or 38, if you are married you are too old for that.

Comments

flinkpamingo 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:25

Now see, that's just wrong.

balletstar101 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:26

Thats OK! Just tell her to stop...Teehee

defman_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:37

gross ... ewwww!!

jonny2x4 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:38

So you caught her digging for copper. So what? Was she hot?

DeathByFalchion 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:40

If she's had that nasty habit for this long, she probably won't break it anytime soon. Enjoy!

alexzhou04 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:41

N.A.S.T.Y

jahono22 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:41

yummy

bethangrubb 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:42

:( what's ydi? that's okay i guess. My brother does it openly he's just gone 20 :|

Intoxicunt 5

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:47

"You Deserve It". As opposed to FYL ("**** Your Life") based one what you thought of the story.

yahyahgirl18 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:43

Thats ****** nasty. This fml made my stomach hurt

Ridyn 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 18:06

And this affects you how?

tubaguy42 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 18:11

exactly. he probably does a lot more disgusting things than that.

Keywords

Parents Relatable Work Awkward Job interview Social Media Jealousy Love Facebook Friends Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Music Names Customers Money Education Capitalism Weird Gamers Bodyshaming Coworkers Landlords Allergies Dogs Embarrassing

The Top

Today, I met my boyfriend in Hong Kong after being apart for almost 6 months. We got to our room and got right down to business. I was just about to come when a voice came over the PA system in the room. "This is just a fire alarm test, sorry for any inconvenience." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 127

You deserved it 5 932

Today, I learned my dad is the kindest, most generous, hard-working soul anyone has ever met. He'll give someone the shirt off his back if they need help. Except for us, his immediate family, whom he screams and cusses at daily, expects to do everything ourselves, and thinks we're incompetent when we need help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 021

You deserved it 4 175

Today, my partner was driving. We were coming up to a sharp bend up a hill when suddenly a girl and a boy came speeding down the hill on a scooter. My partner stopped well before, but they fell off the kerb. We got out to check they were OK. The girl blamed us and kicked me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 87

Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 429

You deserved it 714

Today, I recently participated in a play and my mom asked for the video, so I said that someone should be sending it soon. My dad said, "It's OK, she doesn't have friends, she hasn't had one since childhood, that's why she doesn't have the video." I do in fact have friends, and the video had been sent already but I forgot to check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 685

You deserved it 114

Today, I had a dream in which I was throwing up. Turns out it wasn’t a dream and I woke up to puke all over the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 107

Today, our building owner, who lives just below, had a great idea to make her life easier. When something gets on her nerves, she puts it in the stairwell. Including two dozen shoes, her toddler, her screaming baby, her barking dog and her cat who loves to shit in my flower pots and piss in my basement room, which she is well aware of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 129

Same thing different taste

Confession time

Top comments

Comments