Love: Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had...

By Anonymous - 01/07/2013 18:03 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 414

You deserved it 6 291

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By IloveJapan - 02/04/2012 14:02 - Japan

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 427

You deserved it 10 139

Dominion

By baby.momma2 - 26/11/2020 19:58

Today, I told my boyfriend I was unsure of the future of our relationship, so he gave me a gigantic hickey to "show the world that I'm his." I work as a cashier and see people I know personally on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 303

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 361

You deserved it 3 504

By mrniceguy - 23/02/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend started a fake argument and pretended to be mad at me for four days, which was almost enough time for the gigantic hickey that my best friend gave her on her neck to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 135

You deserved it 2 462

By nonymous human subject - 14/11/2015 20:02 - United States - Palo Alto

Today, I got to my human anatomy class with a hickey on my neck. Since I sit in the front row, my professor noticed and decided to call me to the front. He then started talking about ruptured blood vessels and hickeys, all while as I served as the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 544

You deserved it 7 871

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 9 502

By tkrause - 01/04/2013 17:17 - Canada - Nelson

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 426

You deserved it 4 158

By davincourt - 29/04/2012 18:31 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 252

You deserved it 2 998

By hickey - 05/02/2010 10:35 - United States

Today, I made out with my friend for the first time. He gave me a hickey that can't be hidden. I'm the president of my church youth group and I have to help give a seminar on keeping your body like a holy temple... Tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 946

You deserved it 62 363

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 346

You deserved it 3 262

camsterjoe 12

Tuesday 2 July 2013 0:53

Didn't know they lasted so long....

Han1156 23

Tuesday 2 July 2013 1:05

Whoosh. Right over your head

Comments

MisterEx 28

Wednesday 3 July 2013 3:36

OP's gf: but the one who gave me that hickey is a 3some material hot girl OP, now what?

kelsicanreed 13

Wednesday 3 July 2013 4:27

thanks Obama.

YeahYeahYeahOK 6

Wednesday 3 July 2013 12:11

At least you weren't married with a couple of kids when you find fresh hickey... Been there. She didn't have an excuse. It happened at work and still had bite marks around it.

brittyboo123 35

Wednesday 3 July 2013 13:32

Did she burn herself with her straightener?

soapmactavish82 8

Thursday 4 July 2013 4:26

Since hickeys last about two weeks I'm really sorry...it's probably your best friend, or your dad

jollypackman 5

Thursday 4 July 2013 7:21

Don't be stupid that could of come from lots of things, and that isn't even that bad

samanthasammi 4

Thursday 4 July 2013 7:24

I actually burned myself with a curling iron and it looks like a hickey. I have had it for 4 months. Permanent hickey

aimzskee 30

Tuesday 8 July 2014 13:09

Was she playing with the vacuum again?

cmo333 10

Tuesday 18 November 2014 4:47

It could be a bruise...

GAeroNKissR 26

Tuesday 10 November 2015 5:57

that must be some powerful phone sex!

Keywords

Relatable Public freakouts Health Music Geek Scams Poopoo peepee Jewelry Awkward Transportation Bikes Cops Fight Kids Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Social Media Relationship advice Love Work Art Students Birds Sleep Noise Animals Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 200

You deserved it 3 627

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, my dad approached two girls at a store and told them I'd crashed into their car. They didn't find it funny either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 343

You deserved it 2 043

Today, I got back to my apartment from being away for the past week on Spring break. I found the locks on my apartment changed and all my things on the curb, many of them broken or stolen. I ran to the leasing office to see what had happened. Turns out it was an accounting error on their part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 099

You deserved it 3 525

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 789

You deserved it 58 150

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 297

You deserved it 9 904

Today, my mum went and told everyone she only went to the doctor after being ill because my brother told her to. It was me who'd been telling her for weeks to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 87

Today, my brother said he could no longer tolerate living with me. He’s a sex offender on parole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 008

You deserved it 208

Same thing different taste

Dominion

Top comments

Comments