Miscellaneous: Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical... - FML

By bellerz14 - 23/12/2011 02:58 - United States

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 991

You deserved it 4 213

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Same thing different taste

By SaggyBoy135 - 12/07/2011 12:19 - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be OK to make sound effects for everything he did, in a public park, with me tagging along behind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 924

You deserved it 3 570

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 202

You deserved it 2 592

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:45 - United States

Today, feeling melancholic, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 212

You deserved it 6 232

By lauramarie - 23/07/2011 14:18 - Canada

Today, as I was hung over from a concert and refusing to get out of bed, my dad decided to hook up his top notch speaker system and play Christmas music that shook the house. It's July. Let the family weekend begin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 555

You deserved it 15 595

Mid-life crisis

By theslutmuncher - 14/12/2012 23:20 - Germany - Merseburg

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 911

You deserved it 2 481

By embaressed - 20/09/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 450

You deserved it 2 916

Terminally online

By Anonymous - 13/08/2022 10:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I came home to see my dad sitting in his car. I thought it'd be fun to sneak up on him. He was filming himself on his phone, ranting about "fighting like hell" and "a storm coming." He had his baseball cap on backwards, probably because the front had the name of our town in Wales on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 127

By fmT719 - 18/12/2011 23:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I came to the conclusion that my dad must have had a psychotic break, because when I came home, he was wearing sunglasses indoors, and blasted out Skrillex music all through the evening. The sound of diarrhea pouring into a gutter would make for better music than this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 629

You deserved it 17 368

By Z - 09/04/2011 22:29 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad decided to have a little father and daughter bonding time. Unfortunately, his idea of bonding involves him sitting around at home, getting piss drunk, and falling asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 444

You deserved it 3 031

By Samantha - 13/03/2012 17:59 - Canada

Today, my dad insisted on having a family movie night. He chose the movies Jaws and Mayday. I'm going on a diving expedition tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 984

You deserved it 2 919

Next

Top comments

Uscdrew1 7

Friday 23 December 2011 8:23

Well that blows. Actually, no it doesn't. Let your dad do what he wants.

randomguy1millon_fml 0

Friday 23 December 2011 8:28

Go Bach there and help him

Comments

Dishwad 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:27

I disagree, I find that Vivaldi and John Barry are superior to all previously mentioned artists.

joewaka89 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:39

At least he wasn't beating off or something actually embarrassing

angrynegro7 16

Friday 23 December 2011 12:46

Could've been worse, OP. He could've been blowing a guy while listening to Celine Dion.

stevenmx86 7

Friday 23 December 2011 12:48

So?

TheInscrutable 0

Friday 23 December 2011 12:55

Just leave him be. Classical music as in Beethoven and Stravinsky?

perdix 29

Friday 23 December 2011 15:41

I thought you said Sandusky.

Ugi 26

Friday 23 December 2011 13:15

And your problem with this is what? If that is the worst thing your day has to offer today, eccentric thou' it may be, you have got off pretty lightly!

ALLDAY88 8

Friday 23 December 2011 13:31

Your dad knows it all.

natedogg2402 2

Friday 23 December 2011 13:45

Marry Christmas!!

btstig 11

Friday 23 December 2011 19:29

I'm asking her tonight. Quit being pushy!

Foxy_On_Fire 21

Friday 23 December 2011 14:03

Weird

OfficeNinja 5

Friday 23 December 2011 14:28

The acorn falls close to the oak tree. Half your DNA came from that guy, so you may have just had a vision of the future.

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The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 684

You deserved it 11 188

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 240

You deserved it 37 869

The Top

Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I’m massively depressed and I live in a state that will prosecute you for attempted suicide, but will do nothing to help you afford mental health. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 99

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 170

You deserved it 3 861

Today, I witnessed a drunk woman going on a manic, unhinged rant about her vagina. It would’ve been funny if she wasn’t my blind date. The worst part is that we were at my favorite restaurant, and I can probably never show my face there again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 181

Today, I found out just how painful it is to get a cramp in your penis in the middle of sex, especially when your wife is on top and just has to keep going for a few more thrusts because she's so close to finishing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 176

Today, my apartment burned to the ground. I was packed and ready to move out tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 682

You deserved it 3 345