Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, about to fall asleep, a bug started buzzing behind the screen to my window. Losing my sanity, I punched the screen, forgetting all about the glass. I now have a cracked window and one still annoying bug. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
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Top comments
syley 5
Karma must love bugs
DarkDaedalus009 8
The clock got bored of being on the wall
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Comments (166)
outoftown 27
Meanwhile, forgotten in the wreckage of the clock and tv, the smeared bug-guts remain on the wall and book cover in the late-summer heat....
fireysaje 10
Ah the joy of physics.
doodlecloud 27
*sigh* Poor bugs. I don't expect everyone to avoid killing all bugs but that doesn't mean you have to go over the top and needlessly destroy the tiniest of bugs. A lot of people are thumbing down the 'anti-bug squashing' comments but if everyone squashed all the bugs we'd screw up the animal balance and die pretty quickly. A lot of animals rely on bugs as a food source.
Pleonasm 36
Maybe it's not karma and just being unfortunate? I don't know why one in two comments is about karma Anyway I wouldn't have a home anymore if two of my possessions were potentially destroyed everytime I squashed, accidentally or not (stupid mosquitoes,) a bug!
WhyCantIDoRight 5
YDI - For using a book to smash it!
mrnuleef 7
Somewhere in bug afterlife, there is an insect laughing its ass off saying YDI. Im sure the previous bugs that you smashed with mallets and sledgehammers are laughing too, you cruel bastard you.
Malevolent_Bunny 0
My reccommendation? Don't follow through quite so hard on your swing. And if the little blighter isn't venomous, don't sweat it and use a second-hand sifter to trap it humanely with far less risk to your appliances.
The_F3rris 11
Haven't you seen Bee Movie? Even the smallest life has meaning.
brokenboy124 4
Look up a thing called a spider rifle on Youtube. It is very easy to build, and it doesn't hurt the little creature. I use mine very often, and then I humanely relocate them to another place.
Quiet_one 22
I don't get all these people saying you should never kill bugs. If it's outside I'll leave it alone because that's where it's supposed to be, but if it comes into my home it's going to die, with very few exceptions (moths and lady bugs, for example, will only be relocated). However, I don't want to risk the nastier ones like roaches and spiders coming back in after I relocate them. I don't want them near my food, and I don't want them near where I sleep, so they'll get squished every time.
doodlecloud 27
What makes spiders a 'nastier' one but ladybugs an 'exception'? Is it just because ladybugs are 'cute' and spiders are all hairy and leggy? FYI, a common house spider will never harm you but will keep your house free of the creepier flies but a ladybug, whilst being good for eating aphids, can damage plants and animals if the it's the wrong type and any type of ladybug can cause allergic reactions, rashes and worsen asthma.