Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML
Today, a moth was flying around my house. Annoyed, I picked up a shoe to crush it with. The moth landed on a light fixture on the ceiling, so I made my move. Dead, the moth slipped gracefully through air and onto my head. So did the light fixture. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML
Today, about to fall asleep, a bug started buzzing behind the screen to my window. Losing my sanity, I punched the screen, forgetting all about the glass. I now have a cracked window and one still annoying bug. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I ruined my computer screen trying to kill a fly. FML
Today, I tried to smack a fly that was buzzing around my room. I ended up hitting the wall a little too hard, scaring my cat, who jumped up and ran under the bed, knocking over a lamp. The fly is fine. FML
Today, I was in my basement when I saw a giant cricket on the floor. I found an old plastic bottle of orange paint to drop on it and did so from about five feet up. The bottle exploded and splattered the walls and floor like a crime scene. The cricket hopped away untouched. FML
Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML
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Top comments
syley 5
Karma must love bugs
DarkDaedalus009 8
The clock got bored of being on the wall
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Comments (166)
kyat288 9
Karma's a bitch and then you marry one
lgndary 0
At least the bug didn't fly
stewpididiot 11
And just what did that small bug ever do to you ?? You TOTALLY deserved it !!!
SApprentice 34
Your overwhelming phobia of a harmless, tiny insect concerns me. May I suggest therapy?
Eirena 5
You needed a book? It's not hard to grab some Kleenex or a paper towel.
mrtjawesome 14
im sure that bug is now laughing at you in hell :)
WhoSaidThatIsh 13
Puts on sunglasses. "I guess time doesn't always fly..." YEAH!!!!!!
Dixbfloppin 11
You really hate bugs, don't you?
j_cat187 20
Your existence is denied, prepare for the afterlife! That's why I spray bugs with lemon pledge. To them it's acid.
Nnycr 4
Was this bug a butterfly? That would explain the effect of the situation.