By anonymous - 06/06/2013 04:14 - United States - Tehachapi

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 792
You deserved it 6 518

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If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.

That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy


If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.

if op had recorded him confessing....

Fk that bro Steal it Back.

The police can't do anything in situations like this. It was fair and square.

Grab the back of his shirt, pull it over his head, put your knee in his face, and ride away on the bike.

51 in my city if you register your bike the police can do something...well only if the serial number is still there

PlastikSeraph 2

Was the bike thief's name Deebo, by any chance?

groovycrazyjoe 18

@67 yea I have your bike right here; BING BAM BOW lol

67, Friday was the shit lol. That's 1 fuck for #67 ;)

finders keepers!

so you agree that it's OP's bike?

Sarcasm is a subtle language.

MichellinMan 20

If that was me, I wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of him.

I meant, you find the douchebag who stokes the bike, and you keep his kidneys as a trophy.

Did you not report it closer to the time? That sucks anyway, but it's probably too late to prove now

I see your comment writing has not improved since the last time we talked

I see you have nothing better to do than remember insignificant things in your life and make people feel bad for mistakes

she has a point

Thanks, last time I royally messed up a comment I discretely explained myself over inbox to him and he was very rude to me. Who actually remembers names on FML (other than friends and "famous" ones?) :S I'm pretty certain my comments weren't that outrageous, just incredibly socially awkward

19 - FML community does not put up with cyber bullying. If you don't get your act together then we will have to steal your account. don't worry, we will steal your account in a fair and square way.

Tacojauns- it's one thing to politely correct a spelling or grammar error but to insult Ukee_X 's intelligence is another issue. Stop being such a MoFoe.

The sad part is he will probably post on every one of her posts now just to be an ass.

I'd like to think of myself as more than the single celled organism he seems to take me for

That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy

while yelling back 'Fair and square.' :-)

Wow, you're a lovely sensitive person.

#18 At your service Captain Obvious.

Awesome! Go and make me a cup of tea then please, I'm parched.

Only that man can use stealing and fair in the same sentence. LOL

^^^ What about this man?

It would be fair of the OP to engage in the act of stealing their bike back. Magic!

That mans got weird reasoning :P

He should form an Ocean's Eleven style heist team to get his bike back.

#8 thanks for pointing out the obvious!

Lil_Red777 21

My aren't we snippy?

Gettin real tired of your shit #36

Yea, if he complains just say that you "stole it fair and square"

#71. I wouldn't say so lol

#78 thank you, because I bust a gut laughing after reading your comment. she's definitely one of the most annoying commenter I have seen in awhile.

You need to calm down #36/90

zevo1415 10

He makes a valid argument

Steal the keys to his house and see how much he'd like to trade.

MrSarcasmic 10

but then you have to wonder. what kind of place does he live in if he's stealing a bike?

If that's the case, set his cardboard box of a house on fire.