By anonymous - 06/06/2013 04:14 - United States - Tehachapi

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
I agree, your life sucks 61 824
You deserved it 6 526
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Top comments

kozzard 17

If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.

262 4
Ambient25 24

That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy

146 4

Comments

kozzard 17

If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.

262 4
Alihb 16

if op had recorded him confessing....

49 1
Iclickalot 2

The police can't do anything in situations like this. It was fair and square.

54 7
fareith 15

Grab the back of his shirt, pull it over his head, put your knee in his face, and ride away on the bike.

40 2
silencebabyy 23

51 in my city if you register your bike the police can do something...well only if the serial number is still there

4 2
PlastikSeraph 2

Was the bike thief's name Deebo, by any chance?

26 2
groovycrazyjoe 18

@67 yea I have your bike right here; BING BAM BOW lol

2 3
buckstop1 37

67, Friday was the shit lol. That's 1 **** for #67 ;)

0 0
MichellinMan 20

If that was me, I wouldn't hesitate to beat the shit out of him.

9 0
lp5252 4

I meant, you find the douchebag who stokes the bike, and you keep his kidneys as a trophy.

3 3
Ukeee_X 19

Did you not report it closer to the time? That sucks anyway, but it's probably too late to prove now

16 53
tacojauns 45

I see your comment writing has not improved since the last time we talked

3 49
Ukeee_X 19

I see you have nothing better to do than remember insignificant things in your life and make people feel bad for mistakes

53 7
Ukeee_X 19

Thanks, last time I royally messed up a comment I discretely explained myself over inbox to him and he was very rude to me. Who actually remembers names on FML (other than friends and "famous" ones?) :S I'm pretty certain my comments weren't that outrageous, just incredibly socially awkward

25 4
golden_warrior 23

19 - FML community does not put up with cyber bullying. If you don't get your act together then we will have to steal your account. don't worry, we will steal your account in a fair and square way.

35 3
hama806 19

Tacojauns- it's one thing to politely correct a spelling or grammar error but to insult Ukee_X 's intelligence is another issue. Stop being such a MoFoe.

18 0
IIFenix 3

The sad part is he will probably post on every one of her posts now just to be an ass.

7 2
Ukeee_X 19

I'd like to think of myself as more than the single celled organism he seems to take me for

4 0
Ambient25 24

That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy

146 4
Magicomoo 9

while yelling back 'Fair and square.' :-)

18 1
JACKxRAWR 22

Wow, you're a lovely sensitive person.

34 3
JACKxRAWR 22

Awesome! Go and make me a cup of tea then please, I'm parched.

2 3
golden_warrior 23

Only that man can use stealing and fair in the same sentence. LOL

16 33
nightbirdblue 27

It would be fair of the OP to engage in the act of stealing their bike back. Magic!

6 1
zevo1415 10

He makes a valid argument

8 27
Pro_Nothing 9

Steal the keys to his house and see how much he'd like to trade.

44 2
MrSarcasmic 10

but then you have to wonder. what kind of place does he live in if he's stealing a bike?

13 1
Pro_Nothing 9

If that's the case, set his cardboard box of a house on fire.

3 1
svalaedgren 18

That sucks. Hopefully you've got another bike by now

5 1
Pro_Nothing 9

Then OP can run over the thief with that one! Good thinking!

12 0