Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, my bike was stolen. These things happen, so I went to work. On my walk to work, a girl pulls up on my bike and says I needed to fix the brakes, someone could kill themselves. She hands the bike to me and runs off. Not even 3 minutes pass before police surrounded me and accused me of stealing my own bike. FML
Today, I was walking to the store when I ran into one of my friends. He said he heard about my bike being stolen the day before, and that whoever took it was a heartless dick. I hadn't told anyone about the theft. FML
Today, I found my bike that was stolen a week ago in front of someone's house. Now this wouldn't have been a problem if my husband didn't steal it to go meet with his girlfriend. FML
Today, my 3 year old son's tricycle was stolen. I looked up the street and saw a neighbour's kid riding it. I marched up, gently lifted him off it, gave him a stern lecture about stealing and brought the tricycle back home. The cops then showed up. Apparently, the kid has an identical tricycle. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, I saw my bike locked outside a Starbucks down the street from my house. It was stolen about 10 days ago from my communal laundry room. There was even a cop parked across the street, but I have no proof to show that bike even belonged to me. FML
Today, I was at Goodwill and I saw my bike, which was stolen from me a couple of weeks ago. It was a gift that my mom gave me for my birthday. The bike was being sold for 65 dollars. I had to buy it. FML
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
Today, I was walking home from work going over a railway-bridge, when a 12 year old boy standing at the bottom asks if I could help him carry his bike up, as he couldn't lift it. I did it for him, and was greeted on the other side by his father - who thought I was stealing it and hit me. FML
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Top comments
kozzard 17
If you can prove it was your bike, the police can get it returned to you.
Ambient25 24
That should have been the part where you either popped the tires or threw him off the bike and pedaled like crazy
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Comments (107)
jakeydudey 13
Why so serrriooouuusss?
girlbye23 15
Steal it back fair and square
still_guns 16
Heh, that's like saying 'hitler killed the jews, it was totally justifiable
Fluffydemise 18
No, it's not.
DocBastard 38
still_guns - I've now read your comment at least 20 times trying to make sense of it, and I just couldn't do it myself. I had to feed it into my Idiot-English Translation Engine, and this is what came out: *whirr* *click* *bzzz* *DING* "I'm a big ******* moron who tried to make an anti-Semitic joke and ended up looking like a total assface." I think it nailed it.
Fluffydemise 18
That must have been quite a difficult situation for OP to be in. You should have tried to get it back at least. One time someone pushed me off my bike with the agenda of stealing it. In a moment of pure, unadulterated, hulk like rage I picked up the bike and threw it at him. I missed, and caught a bystander right in his shins. I was so embarrassed, but the guy was a lot more understanding than I thought he'd be. By which I mean, he didn't press charges against me!
Ceejay1 13
Should of took it back from him.
mollyjynxjax 28
*have taken*
MysticMonkey 9
It could just happen to be the same as your bike
mollyjynxjax 28
The guy admitted it was his stolen bike!
MysticMonkey 9
Could have stolen it off someone else
HumanWiki 8
Come back with a lead pipe
H8t2crapOnUrDay 6
what would suck is if he tried to do that... lost the fight... and got something else stolen lol.
Zebediabolical 43
I'm kind of curious as to how OP identified the bike as his a couple years later. They make more than one of each model after all. If there's an identifying mark on it just grab hold and refuse to let go while screaming for a cop. Not many thieves will stick around with that kind of crap going on.
laden_swallow09 34
So punch him in the dick fair and square.