By Bortenssen - Australia - Perth

It was either an expensive event, or learn to manage your money.

Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks

782

You deserved it

1363

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Out of it

The past that suits you best

Are you sure you're OK?

By JoanT - 20/10/2020 11:08

Hangry

Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

883

You deserved it

174

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By Raaaaaaarrrrrr - United States

Today, I bought a CD off a man who always plays Spanish guitar in the subway. When I got to work and tried playing the CD, it was blank. I paid $15 for a blank CD. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40066

You deserved it

21638

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By Anonymous - United States - Pomona

Today, I was bitched out by my shrew of a mother for getting engaged, to a man. She's not homophobic, but rather pissed off because gay marriage is "trendy" and she wants me to be "above that nonsense". Hurray for love. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23857

You deserved it

3706

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By Anonymous - United States - Topeka

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24084

You deserved it

46900

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By Anonymous - United States - Westfield

Anonymity

Today, I got my grades back. I got a very poor evaluation for my lit class, which was odd because it didn't match the impression from my end-of-class meeting with the professor. It does, however, include a nod to the supposedly-anonymous negative class review I gave her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12067

You deserved it

1632

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By Damnit - United Kingdom

Today I noticed a large crack in my windscreen. 2 weeks after getting it replaced. The warranty doesn't cover cracks. Several attempts were needed to replace it last time for reasons like losing the new windscreen and telling me they can't make it that day and turning up any way after going out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1955

You deserved it

159

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By pokie - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that my fantasy was for him to eat me out on the dinner table. My boyfriend told me his was me in a Pikachu costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47771

You deserved it

9349

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By This girl - United States

Today, I was walking down the street, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. It wasn't all that embarrassing, until I walked two more feet and slipped again. The second time, a man pulled over and loudly asked if I was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29249

You deserved it

3376

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/2/2021 05:01

Metal Cat

Today, my cat jumped on my chest while I was sleeping and head-butted my nose to show she loves me. It was hard enough to crack it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

615

You deserved it

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By caltech - United States - San Jose

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

I agree, your life sucks

31050

You deserved it

2071

Favorite

By Gomer - United States - New York

Today, I went to a veterans' reunion party with my grandpa. While there, a guy started yelling at me for having an unapproved haircut. It was my grandpa's old drill sergeant, and he thought I was in the army too. Everyone just smirked as he forced me to drop and do push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38369

You deserved it

5846

Favorite

By drchinky888 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12223

You deserved it

975

Favorite

By Anonymous - 8/9/2020 09:01

Walked into that one

Today, I stopped by McDonald's with my brother. I asked him what he wanted and I repeated his order. The lady said, "We don't have that here." I stupidly answered, "That's weird. We have it where I come from," and she replied, "Where did you come from honey, 1995?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

1041

You deserved it

511

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By Anonymous

Today, I had money set out to pay bills, for a gift, and to put in a card as my cousin's wedding gift. I was rushing and not paying attention and ended up putting all of the money in the wedding card. $400 from one person. I guess I'll have no cable or cell phone this month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1982

You deserved it

2814

Favorite

By ugh Buck! - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54951

You deserved it

4420

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By maddyUnderstood

Today, I went into a job interview for Quizno's. The boss there talked to me for an hour and half about everything on God's green earth. She noticed I was a certified swim instructor. I left Quizno's with no job, but with an appointment to teach the boss how to swim tomorrow at 9 a.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1699

You deserved it

159

Favorite

By Marie - Canada

Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37168

You deserved it

5132

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By disgusted - United States - Clarksville

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25495

You deserved it

3222

Favorite

By Rosie J. - United States - Leawood

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9246

You deserved it

569

Favorite

By phuckbukket7 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant for her birthday. I'd arranged beforehand for some of the staff to come out and sing happy birthday to her, but it all backfired when she started panicking and had a serious anxiety attack from all the attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49595

You deserved it

8678

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By JC - United States

Today, I was driving down the road when a dog suddenly runs across the street. In attempt to spare its life, I swerved to the side of the road and rear-ended another car. The car I hit belonged the family that owned the dog. Now I have to pay them because I saved their dog's life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39239

You deserved it

5924

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By Tonguetied0496 - United States - Claremont

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37800

You deserved it

7371

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By KatieElizabeth - United States - San Francisco

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41429

You deserved it

2715

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By long day - United States - Bay City

Today, while taking an order over the phone for the customer at work, I began to hear slight moans. The moans gradually became faster and louder, until climax was achieved and I realized I was being used for phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47609

You deserved it

3862

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37114

You deserved it

2929

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By keyshame - Australia - Leichhardt

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38253

You deserved it

6451

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27778

You deserved it

7290

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By Anonymous - Australia - Mackay

Today, I regretfully confessed to my parents I have trichotillomania. There was a torturous pause, followed by the question, "Are you gay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

34843

You deserved it

5064

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By Itchy

Today, I found out I'm allergic to soil, pollen, dust, mold, the colors green, yellow, orange, black and grey, most metals, wood, carpet, drywall, most hygiene and beauty products, and plastic. Basically, I was told to avoid the entire planet and everything man-made. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6303

You deserved it

659

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By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

One-sided

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks

886

You deserved it

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I was confronted by my father after I got back home from a party in the early hours. He demanded to know if I'd been doing any drugs, and then decided to give me a scare lecture on the dangers of alcohol. I'd had a few beers. He had the smell of tequila on his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27049

You deserved it

5047

Favorite

By anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36751

You deserved it

4487

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By Anonymous - United States - Herndon

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41196

You deserved it

2789

Favorite

By goodbye-college - Canada

Today, I found out I won't be able to go to college. Why? My sister's horse needs surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51247

You deserved it

5228

Favorite

By dole_out_the_fml - Canada

Today, I spent two hours making dinner for my boyfriend's family. When I brought it over to their house they said "thanks" and didn't bother to invite me to stay to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59131

You deserved it

4563

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By someone - United States

Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35439

You deserved it

4435

Favorite

By musik_ist_liebe - United States

Today, my 13 year old sister had to explain the bases to me. Turns out, I have skipped first and second base and gone straight to third, without even realizing it. What makes it worse is that she told my mother, and now my whole family thinks I'm a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18937

You deserved it

63695

Favorite

By K.. - 28/2/2021 14:01 - Australia

Put your foot down

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1251

You deserved it

129

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By trippybmth - United States

Today, after doing tons of research on a wand my little brother wanted for Christmas, I finally found one on eBay for $60. After already giving my credit card info and confirming the purchase, my dad called me and told me he found the exact same one for six bucks at a local toy store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31594

You deserved it

6884

Favorite

By glitterzebra - United States

Today, I realized that I can tell how long it has been since I have been with a guy, by the length of my leg hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26195

You deserved it

13366

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Top comments

By Nhayaa | 21

#7829570 - Thursday 8 August 2019 4:26

It seems it still wasn't expensive enough for you to check the date of the event correctly...

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7829595 - Thursday 8 August 2019 8:11

Why would you spend most of your savings simply to attend an event and then try to spend even more of it on a commemorative jacket? I question your priorities.... :-(

COMMENTS

By Nhayaa | 21

#7829570 - Thursday 8 August 2019 4:26

It seems it still wasn't expensive enough for you to check the date of the event correctly...

By skippydoda | 32

#7829573 - Thursday 8 August 2019 4:38

I'm going to have to say YDI. Double check the dates. Always

By RichardPencil | 30

#7829576 - Thursday 8 August 2019 5:28

Looks like you made a jacket-ass out of yourself.

By jbuckets_404 | 38

#7829595 - Thursday 8 August 2019 8:11

Why would you spend most of your savings simply to attend an event and then try to spend even more of it on a commemorative jacket? I question your priorities.... :-(

By zoelog | 10

#7829732 - Thursday 8 August 2019 17:56

wow. I think I would have been a bit more careful about checking the date. ydi

By BurnInDemonFire | 30

#7830046 - Friday 9 August 2019 17:40

Wait... did you pay to attend the event, or did you pay to host it? Either way, you should have invested $2 in a calendar, or a diary. Hell, most phones nowadays have a calendar app on them, so I gotta know... how did you not make a note of the date? Even a Post-It on the fridge would do.