It was either an expensive event, or learn to manage your money.

By Bortenssen - 08/08/2019 10:05 - Australia - Perth

Today, I found out that the reason I couldn’t buy a commemorative jacket to wear at my rugby club's 50th anniversary was because the event had already happened. I paid in full for the event, and it cost me most of my savings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 1 386

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Good kid

Sorry…

By FamilyLoving - 19/08/2013 16:00 - United States - Patchogue

Today, I was out jogging. As I took a rest to have a drink of water, a car pulled onto the sidewalk and bumped into me. Not just any car; my dad's car. He then drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 030

You deserved it 3 803

By Out Ran - 16/02/2010 06:32 - United States

Today, while running, I sped up to show off for a cute female runner I'd seen before up ahead. I passed her and not more than a minute later she sprints past me. I couldn't catch up. She not only out ran me, but waited to tell me it was a 'nice try'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 822

You deserved it 34 850

By wrongcolorwrongcreed - 30/05/2019 10:43

Today, I went with my boyfriend of 10 months to rent a car, for which he needed his dad to sign for. To avoid introducing me, he banished me to the nearest airport terminal, and picked me up 45 minutes later, around 11:30 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 717

You deserved it 297

By LearnGeographyUSA - 12/12/2012 06:45 - United States - Kirkland

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 406

You deserved it 2 855

By blue15564 - 26/09/2016 21:52 - United States - Davenport

Today, my dad grounded me for not having any friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 304

You deserved it 1 129

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 783

You deserved it 5 646

Not the best reaction

By Mark - 31/08/2021 15:01

Today, I came out as gay to my dad on Whatsapp. The only thing he replied was, "I'll ever talk to you again when you stop being a pussy." He then blocked me from everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 189

Decisions, decisions

By Anonymous - 26/10/2021 20:00 - United States - Little River

Today, my long-term partner and I decided we still love each other and want to try to salvage our relationship. Also today, a long-lost crush reconnected with me out of nowhere. The chemistry between us is insane and I can't stop thinking about him. Maybe it's a sign? FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 1 162

Submission

By Anonymous - 24/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontaneous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 405

You deserved it 1 812

By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I brought a friend who I have loved for years out to a nice restaurant for dinner. I ordered an expensive bottle of wine, and poured each of us a glass. As I was about to tell her I loved her, she raised her glass for a toast and said "A toast to friendship!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 742

You deserved it 7 775

By Olerbia - 28/05/2013 07:11 - United States

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 038

You deserved it 9 981

Emotional rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 02/10/2021 22:01 - United States

Today, my dad all but told me that he ignores me and my advice on purpose, just so he can yell at me for pestering him when I get annoyed, and being ignored really ticks me off. Then my mom, who is the more level-headed one, didn't even scold him for it. This is why I have acute self-esteem issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 151

Hurry up!

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 02:02

Today, my wife told me not to rush her during packing for our upcoming move. She's lived in the house for 30 years and apparently needs to reminisce over every single item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 264

By pizzafreak18 - 21/06/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I went into the store where my boyfriend works. I saw him talking to a customer, his back was facing me, so I went up and smacked his butt. Turns out it wasn't him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 052

You deserved it 54 846

By Less Friendship, More Cash - 06/05/2016 11:54 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized one of my best friends was only friends with me because I would take her shopping, spoil her regularly, and help her out financially. She moved to another province and only contacted me whenever she wanted money. After I refused a couple of times, she deleted me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 634

You deserved it 2 679

By sleeplessinID - 15/08/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, I haven't had any real sleep in 4 days because I am an insomniac. My father is also an insomniac but he takes Ambien to get his rest. Me? I'm stuck staring at the ceiling for hours because he won't let me take any kind of medication, because he doesn't want me "getting addicted." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 532

You deserved it 3 603

When pranking goes too far

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 20:01

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 961

You deserved it 150

By iams - 30/08/2018 06:00

Today, I found out my mom is banging my ex-boyfriend's best friend. He’s 22 and my mom is 50. Oh, and not only does my ex know, but so does the whole town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 429

You deserved it 315

Creeped out

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 04:11 - United States

Today, I met my recently divorced mother's new boyfriend. He is missing teeth and has long hair and a mangy beard. Horrified, I left the room, only to hear my mother telling my sister, "The sex is phenomenal!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 254

You deserved it 3 427

By smellyhouse - 27/11/2011 10:19 - Canada

Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 891

You deserved it 2 499

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 953

You deserved it 5 164

By i-should-probably-stick-to-swimming - 03/01/2010 16:28 - United States

Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 6 358

Dreamweaver

By Anonymous - 09/02/2021 08:01

Today, I woke up with a scream of pain to find the reason I've had so many realistic dreams lately: my boyfriend has been messing with me in my sleep because he thinks my reactions are funny. For instance, when he pinched me today, I experienced a very realistic wasp sting in my dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 238

You deserved it 93

By njh - 27/03/2015 13:29 - Ireland

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 221

You deserved it 3 574

By Anonymous - 25/01/2011 00:30 - United States

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 232

You deserved it 4 344

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 07:29 - United States

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 410

You deserved it 3 128

By rebecca - 10/03/2009 21:31 - Austria

Today, as a bartender was carding my friends, I excitedly asked if he was going to card me. The guy gave me a blank stare before finally replying, "Look, lady, I don't have time to stroke some middle-aged woman's ego." I asked because it was my birthday. I just turned twenty-one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 232

You deserved it 7 138

Heavenly Shower

By deadgrass - 29/03/2012 00:44 - United States - Middletown

Today, I discovered that the stream of water that periodically falls onto the ground outside my apartment window isn't actually water. The guy above me regularly pees out of his window onto his balcony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 628

You deserved it 1 937

By Diana - 05/07/2018 01:30

Today, I gave birth to my first son. He was 11 pounds and the labour lasted 22 hours. My husband was absent for 8 of those hours because he slipped when my water broke, cracked his head, and ended up in the ER next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 778

You deserved it 352

By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 19:21 - United States - Concord

Today, we went to the wedding of one of my friends. As she was about to throw her bouquet, my boyfriend muttered that if I tried to catch it, we'd be through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 850

You deserved it 5 516

By fmylife - 26/08/2010 10:09 - Malaysia

Today, I downloaded porn and saved it on my desktop. After watching it, I couldn't delete it, and now it is stuck on the desktop. It is a shared computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 854

You deserved it 68 799

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 21:08 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 196

You deserved it 2 963

Looking for a job?

By Anonymous - 21/06/2021 19:31 - India - Bangalore

Today, the guy we'd offered to hire, who had a 2-month notice period, emailed to say he couldn't come after all, because his employer offered to retain him. In this two-month timeframe, we didn't interview anybody else and now we're in deep shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 430

By sadnj - 25/03/2017 00:00

Today, I was supposed to go on a date with my attractive and seemingly charming neighbor. Yesterday, his house was raided and he was arrested for running a heroin ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 320

You deserved it 387

By Indigo_Kitten - 08/08/2010 01:05 - United States

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 863

You deserved it 18 993

By Brasilian29 - 11/12/2014 12:01 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of 2 years after eating in a 5-star restaurant. She said that she wasn't ready and that she would walk home by herself, which she did. A homeless gentleman walked up from behind me, patted me on the back and said, "Bitches man." I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 685

You deserved it 3 361

Not now, Kelsey

By Amy - 01/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, after a huge row with my best friend at school, I hid myself away in the bathroom and quietly sobbed to myself. A kid loudly busted into the stall next to me and took a minute-long shit that sounded like a hailstorm of bullets. The putrid stench made me retch and violently throw up everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 7 224

By 4lphab3t4 - 21/11/2016 15:22

Today, my neighbour almost ran over my little sister, and blamed it on his disability. What disability? He has no sense of smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 807

You deserved it 579

By neverdateaclosetcase - 17/11/2010 18:16 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 319

You deserved it 13 493

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 054

You deserved it 7 177

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Top comments

Nhayaa 21

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Thursday 8 August 2019 4:26

It seems it still wasn't expensive enough for you to check the date of the event correctly...

jbuckets_404 38

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 8:11

Why would you spend most of your savings simply to attend an event and then try to spend even more of it on a commemorative jacket? I question your priorities.... :-(

Comments

Nhayaa 21

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 4:26

It seems it still wasn't expensive enough for you to check the date of the event correctly...

skippydoda 32

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Thursday 8 August 2019 4:38

I'm going to have to say YDI. Double check the dates. Always

RichardPencil 30

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Thursday 8 August 2019 5:28

Looks like you made a jacket-ass out of yourself.

jbuckets_404 38

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 8:11

Why would you spend most of your savings simply to attend an event and then try to spend even more of it on a commemorative jacket? I question your priorities.... :-(

zoelog 10

Send a private message

Thursday 8 August 2019 17:56

wow. I think I would have been a bit more careful about checking the date. ydi

BurnInDemonFire 32

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Friday 9 August 2019 17:40

Wait... did you pay to attend the event, or did you pay to host it? Either way, you should have invested $2 in a calendar, or a diary. Hell, most phones nowadays have a calendar app on them, so I gotta know... how did you not make a note of the date? Even a Post-It on the fridge would do.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 30

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 23

Spicy

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 2

Today, I found out my husband has to take Viagra to get it up with me. He never needed it with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 653

You deserved it 197