Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
Captain_Jello 0
You are the biggest asshole; I hate your kind
iFruit 0
I hope you liked it before you realized it was dog food. I hope you get doggy breath. I hope you realize you are a dog, and I don't mean the "man's best friend" type. GET DOWN ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES AND HOWL LIKE A DOG, OP! Woof Woof, asshole!
Jonathan33 0
Everyones saying that they would of put shit on it. imagine someone walking in on you while ur spreading that shit on that sandwich. hey! there's a potential fml now is there. YDI this isn't the ******* 60's where u take someone lunch and/or money. ******* prick
Jonathan33 0
another thing, how the **** did this even get published??!! thre are so many great stories that don't get a chance becuz people post stupid shit like this.
Blueoceanz84 0
YDI.
gothymama 0
And we're supposed to feel bad that you got owned for stealing someone's lunches? Where I work, people get fired if they get caught stealing lunches. YTDI.
boatkicker 5
That's a very good point. I've moderated some great FML's that never saw the first page and then I wonder "Where the hell is it? That was a beautiful FML!" ((And maybe I'm also a little bitter because a few of my FML's haven't been posted, and crap like this does))
slaveowner190461 0
if someone constantly stole from me i would **** on it n add mayo so u cant tell ur lucky
mrose57 0
Asshole. YDI totally for stealing food. You obviously have a job - buy your own lunch.
nonynony 0
I hate, hate, hate, HATE people like you. People who have never grown out of being an idiotic 10-year-old SHOULD NOT BE HIRED TO WORK IN PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS. Companies absolutely should, and do, fire people for knowingly stealing lunches. You're stealing personal property from other employees. GROW UP and consider other people.
love15_fml 8
YDI for stealing his food.