Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
jts2 3
You deserve it for acting like some sort of middle school bully and stealing some poor man's lunch.
gummibehrs 4
We're not claiming to be angels, but damn I would NEVER steal someone else's lunch, leaving them to go hungry just so I wouldn't. When I started my last job, I was beyond broke and had maybe a total of €10 to my name that had to last until I was paid. But nothing came before food. I couldn't afford much to eat but I survived on vending machine snacks until the first time I was paid and could afford lunch. Sometimes people would share their food with me, knowing all I could buy for lunch that day was a bag of chips. I know being broke and living off snack foods sucks, but I did it and I'd much rather eat a bag of chips for lunch than steal someone's sandwich like a selfish prick. I therefore have no sympathy for the OP, because there is absolutely no excuse for that. I'm sure the guy he was stealing from (before he started stealing) would have gladly shared his lunch with this douche if he had just asked.
Pandasaur 0
Actually, people can end up in the hospital from normal laxatives, too. I was watching something once and someone decided to put laxatives in donuts and pass them out. A few people ended up in the hospital because the pranksters were too stupid to read the boxes and see that some of the laxatives were suppositories. It sounds bizarre, but never underestimate how silly people can be. Dog food was a fine substitute; most other things would just be bad news. Just because something won't kill you doesn't mean that messing around with it is okay.
soccerfreak009 0
he gotcha bitch
AFewScrewsLoose 0
That guy is totally ******* epic. and OP, not only are you a complete fucktard, but beggars (and sandwich thieves) can't be choosers. Don't complain, douche. Seriously, ask your boss for a raise if you can't afford to buy bread for yourself.
gummibehrs 4
Exactly. This asshole ruined the only pleasant time at work, on top of leaving the poor man hungry.
CookiMonster2005 0
Have a job and still stealing sack lunches? You're pathetic. He/She should have put worse than just some canned dog food in that sandwich.
klrowdean 0
OP - be glad all you got was a dog food sandwich. This week my friend got somebody fired for stealing his lunch.
youthink_fml 0
Can't get much lower than a thief. I'd be putting something worse than dog food in the sandwich.
kayla_bo_bayla 0
I would have made you a shit sandwich with man-sauce mayo.
joethebiden 8
You're lucky it wasn't me. I would have laced it with rat poison.
RiverRelic 0
wow, I always joke about stealing lunches but I would never trust what other people make. I do, however, steal change from their desk and usually get enough to buy a lunch once a week.
GeneralBE 0
biggest YDI on this site you POS.