Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
lisaloise 3
YDI - D'oh!
Kenpachi_fml 0
U should keep doing just for fun and have a slap fight with u and him
Illumi113 0
I cannot express how much you deserved this, you thieving ********. I hope that he figures out who you are based on the smell of canned dog food on your breath and reports your stealing ass to your employer. Count yourself lucky. This guy went easy on you. If it were me, I would have filled the sandwich with dead bugs and hidden them with meat. Or better yet, rig a paint bomb to the bag like the banks do, and looked for the guy with the blue face screaming "MY EYES!"
imbored932 4
got through moderation because it's hysterical... and totally agree with everybody. YDI douchebag
Gen2105 0
YDI for stealing lunches, dimwit! Honestly, if I'd have been the one that you were stealing from, you would've gotten much more than that! I can appreciate the lunch-owner's sense of humour, however. ;)
Illumi113 0
Karma is spelled with a K, #184. Also it doesn't exist. There is such a thing as poetic justice, but there is no guiding force in the universe that causes it to occur.
DbeX 0
I would have punched your teeth out, then forced the dog food - can and all, down your throat if that was me
kristidgranger 3
ydi... I have had that happen to my lunch before and ya know if they are making sandwhiches alot it is bc that person may not be able to afford to eat out. so you really deserve it. that is stealing. BTW the person who stole my lunch is kinda slow so don't blame him so much. what does that say about u!!!
jmeg_fml 0
well, kind of depends on how you look at it. one understanding is that whatever negativity you put into the universe, you increase the universe's negativity by that much, and are therefore that much more likely to get it back. it's less like a guiding force a more like a probability equation.
jmeg_fml 0
hahahahahah win!!!!
zaket_fml 0
YDI wow, make ur own damn lunch. that's what u get for being an asshole
1Guest1 0
Aww, I'm SO sorry your stolen sandwich wasn't to your liking : (