Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally caught the person who has now and again been stealing my lunch at work for weeks. It was my boss. I awkwardly watched him eat my sandwich while he talked about how he's been "saving money by bringing food from home." FML
Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
Today, I overheard my coworkers talking about how someone has been stealing lunches from the office fridge. Feeling guilty, I admitted that I took a sandwich yesterday, thinking it was free. Turns out, they were joking to see who’d confess. FML
Today, for what has seemed to be the hundredth time, my labeled bagged lunch was stolen from the fridge at my workplace. I stormed into my boss's office ready to complain, only to find him eating it. FML
Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML
Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML
Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML
Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML
Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML
Today, a coworker threw my lunch in the trash. They'd just got back from holidays, and I use the same containers they do. My leftovers "looked like something they'd eat", so they thought it was something they'd forgotten before going on holidays. It was leftovers that I'd been spacing out, trying to make last till payday. FML
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Top comments
jereka05 0
YDI - Make your own freaking sandwiches
gigi37 0
Well, that's what you get for stealing someone else's food. What, were you too lazy to make your own? It's not that expensive to get a dollar hamburger Are you really expecting sympathy on here?
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Comments (406)
blah123blah 0
This one guy at work I know kept getting beers out of his mini bar stolen. So he opened one up carefully, pissed in it, then put the cap back on so it looked like an unopened beer. No one steals his beer anymore. Hope you learn from this.
Pointy130 0
YDI for being a thieving douchebag.
gummibehrs 4
Kudos to your brother, he deserves a high five.
Stragler 0
That's why you don't steal, my friends.
Chopperman_fml 0
YDI...dick
NHS_ASM 0
This one time at band camp, we made brownies with chili powder in them to give to the clarinet section.
Nightfallz 0
people like you op need to get laid out by triple T. I pissed in my orange soda one day when someone kept stealing it.
theshinepolice 0
how is this an fml? at all? seriously. you new you were stealing his lunch HABITUALLY. i would have understood if you mistook his bag as your own one day and he did that to you, but you stole his lunch on purpose. its not like you're some starved child, you have a job and most likely a paycheck big enough to afford food. so WHY? because his lunch was better than yours or something? if that was the case you could have been like "hey, your lunch looks good, what do you put in it?". jeez YDI and not only for your lunch food heists, but also because you couldn't recognize or smell dog food before you ate it, but im glad you had to taste that. stupid.
theshinepolice 0
knew*
MissFatty_fml 0
Anything mean that could be said has been said, but if it hasn't sunk in yet, you deserve it.
nidiff 0
stop being a hamburgler!!