Money: Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 97

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 68

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 35

18/02/2012 22:07

Today, I realized that with all the money I've spent on repairs for my iPhone through the months, I could have bought a phone that doesn't die horribly whenever I so much as give it a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 655

You deserved it 26 046

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Sharing is caring

The only one who could ever reach me…

22/08/2010 03:32

Spicy

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how sweetly the main character on my favorite tv show proposed to his girlfriend. He told me to hang on a second, and later forgot about me while he told his brother about the hot blonde he slept with last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 025

You deserved it 6 450

23/10/2016 10:12

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 560

You deserved it 4 605

02/06/2011 16:06

Today, while I was in the shower, my curious cat jumped in. She decided she really doesn't like showers and to avoid getting wet, used my naked body as a makeshift tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 663

You deserved it 4 613

08/07/2009 21:43

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 888

You deserved it 5 532

16/05/2013 04:31

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 399

You deserved it 6 436

14/10/2010 03:08

Today, I allowed my friend to practice driving in my car. As she began to let the car roll forward, she looked at me and very seriously asked, "Brakes is the right pedal, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 972

You deserved it 29 930

17/06/2019 05:00

Today, after taking care not to hurt myself during my workout, I injured my shoulder extricating myself from my sports bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 184

05/08/2019 14:00

Today, I got a threatening email from my manager, saying my job is in jeopardy if I call off again. Somehow, my leaving early to drive my mom to the ER is inexcusable, yet it's perfectly fine for the same manager to leave early to take her dogs to the groomers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 878

You deserved it 152

People don't always get sarcasm

By Martin - 15/03/2021 17:00

Today, my son asked if there was a way to make parenting easier. I sarcastically told him he could be a deadbeat who sees his kid every two weeks. He must have thought I was serious because he broke up with his girlfriend and baby, turned up at my door expecting to have his old room, and told my wife it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 693

You deserved it 1 008

Chuck E. Cheese awaits

By mama’s boy - 31/10/2019 00:01

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 145

You deserved it 380

25/04/2013 17:56

Today, after 2 months of my new neighbours' kids throwing rocks at our cars, constantly swearing at us, bullying my siblings in and out of school, and vandalising our property, their mother has convinced the landlord that we're the ones out of control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 980

You deserved it 2 684

Girls will be girls

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She had her whole hand in me kind of deep. It was hitting everything inside me and triggered me to poop a little bit, on her arm and the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 616

Don't listen to Cosmo

By FMBs - 30/04/2014 23:40

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got the brilliant idea of trying out a sex tip dreamed up by one of the glorified trolls at Cosmo. I think my balls are broken beyond repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 614

You deserved it 7 179

02/07/2013 02:37

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 844

You deserved it 3 741

06/12/2010 10:37

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 267

You deserved it 3 154

02/07/2015 04:16

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 701

You deserved it 1 766

27/06/2016 02:00

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 735

You deserved it 940

08/06/2011 03:05

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 111

You deserved it 32 106

13/05/2016 20:00

Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 967

You deserved it 11 037

02/10/2009 19:32

Today, while I was at a business supply store, I decided to get my old paper birth certificate laminated so it wouldn't deteriorate further. The people working decided to wait until after it was done and I had paid to tell me that laminating a birth certificate voids it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 403

You deserved it 9 034

29/11/2018 08:30

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 870

You deserved it 127

Game of Thrones 2: Pig in the City

By GOT not for me - 15/09/2020 14:01

Today, I found out my ex lets our kids watch Game of Thrones during his weekend visits. Our kids are 8 and 6. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 235

You deserved it 160

12/04/2017 02:00

Today, after getting her "out-of-office" email, I realized that my coworker is on vacation this week. We're doing our final presentation for a major project on Thursday, and she hasn't finished her part. I guess I won't be sleeping this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 301

You deserved it 297

25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 537

You deserved it 267

Mommy's favorite flower

By Ouch - 10/10/2019 02:00

Today, I learned how it feels when you fall off a second floor balcony with mom's flower pot then landing on your back. My mom got pissed because of her beloved flowers, and gave me a lecture while I rolled on the ground in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 626

You deserved it 241

06/11/2016 07:31

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 187

You deserved it 820

14/12/2016 18:37

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on his final exam. I confronted him after class by jokingly asking, "If you cheated on a test, would you cheat on me?" Turns out that yes, yes he would, and he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 316

You deserved it 791

19/10/2009 17:02

Spicy

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 022

You deserved it 3 733

17/03/2009 10:16

Spicy

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 568

You deserved it 210 991

26/01/2012 19:09

Today, I passed out in the shower with my boyfriend. He just left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 945

You deserved it 5 124

25/03/2011 00:43

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 532

You deserved it 8 687

08/08/2011 05:30

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 462

You deserved it 5 947

25/02/2009 22:06

Today, I came back from college and visited my parents house. There was a new family portrait hung over the mantel of my parents and 2 sisters. My mom had always wanted one but always postponed it. It was dated the day after I left for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 138

You deserved it 2 660

01/03/2012 11:35

Spicy

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 996

You deserved it 21 520

08/12/2013 01:07

Today, I was babysitting my barely-pubescent cousins, and they started talking about giving blowjobs to their "boyfriends". When I got mad at them and told them they shouldn't be thinking of that stuff, they said I was just pissed 'cause I haven't gotten laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 964

You deserved it 5 095

Unsociable media

By Anonymous - 31/07/2021 00:01

Today, I'm a social media manager, and a client complained about having to put forward her personality to gain followers, also refusing to promote her works personally on camera. She's an actress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 71

11/04/2009 04:07

Today, one of our regular customers came in and was telling me he bought an assault rifle. I told him not to go off his meds and shoot up the store, as a joke. Later, my manager told me that the guy is on antidepressants and was discharged from the military for being "mentally unfit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 693

You deserved it 19 471

Pay up

By ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV - 07/11/2009 17:01

Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 176

You deserved it 4 894

28/09/2012 22:21

Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 333

You deserved it 8 422

09/10/2014 14:10

Today, I fell asleep at my desk. It's bad enough that it was for 45 minutes and that I was snoring. What makes it worse? My boss woke me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 962

You deserved it 15 605

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Top comments

The_Creeper_fml 8

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:37

I don't get it. I dropped mine off a second story balcony. Scratched, some screen cracks, but it still worked. Do you like throw yours into the fiery pita of hell?

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

Then what would happen if you THREW IT ON THE GROUND! I'M AN ADULT!

Comments

Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

And that's why I have an android

The_Creeper_fml 8

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:40

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:55

Treat it with care op...ive had my iphone over a year without an issue

sweetdreams20 0

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:58

Usuck

Feklfekl2222 32

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:59

I have had my iPhone 4 for a year and a half with absolutely no problems so FMLs like this make me wonder if these people use their phones as cricket balls or something.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:39

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.. Show it anyway

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:52

I know right. If you have an iPhone the first thing you should do is get a case. Cause they're such thin phones they're bound to break when you drop them. I bought a defender case and it works perfectly. It even protected it from fingernail polish remover. Hahaha.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

Then what would happen if you THREW IT ON THE GROUND! I'M AN ADULT!

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:11

I don't agree with this system! Yeah my phones system sucks :(

ClassyCommando 13

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:48

My rich friend's Android unlocks when he smiles at it. OP's iPhone does when OP gives it a mean look. The iPhone 4S has a sarcastic assistant built in. I miss the good old days, when our phones weren't so damn emotional.

ClassyCommando 13

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Sunday 19 February 2012 4:01

*dies Not "does" My iPod is a nitpicking jerk who always feels the need to auto-correct me when I make a tiny mistake. Yet another example, to prove my point.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:34

How the... How does it die when you look at it? I SO CONFUSE!

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

ME SO ASIAN!

Jaxx66 21

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:42

Not sure. When I got the first gen. iPhone I broke the screen twice, had to get it repaired four times cause it would randomly make a very loud 20min/till the battery died screeching, over a two year period. I have the iPhone 4 now and never broke the screen or had any problems. So I don't know what you are doing to yours... Is it afraid of you?

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:05

Even then if you buy apple care protection plan you don't pay for repairs unless your breaking the screen or causing water damage

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:20

op: *looks at phone meanly* Phone: MOTHER OF GOD!!! *crack poof dust* That is how it happens

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:35

If you take it back to the apple store, I believe you can exchange this one and pay around $200 to get a brand new one.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:43

And if you're on a phone plan your retailer can just add it to your pay-plan, for like $20 extra a month. :)

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:36

Bullsh!t i dont beleive this fake post

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:38

You must have said something extremely retarded or mean. I feel terrible that I missed it.

The_Creeper_fml 8

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:37

I don't get it. I dropped mine off a second story balcony. Scratched, some screen cracks, but it still worked. Do you like throw yours into the fiery pita of hell?

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:42

I believe you meant ,"fiery pitas of hell." I'm hungry now.

The_Creeper_fml 8

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:44

Hmm? I may have. Or hell may just be one giant, delicious pita.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:46

You need to share then, you greedy bastard.

thiscrazything 1

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:26

Mmmm..... fiery pitas taste better with jalepeno's

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:37

Now that youve realized this, buy a different phone

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:37

OP, You need to show the iPhone the love. The almighty iPhone senses your hatred.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:04

He must pray to the iPhone god to wash away his sins. Then his iPhone will be enlighten.

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:38

It's all Siri. Never ever, go against Siri.

skatercody696 0

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:40

*rubs forehead twice*

KunoKanashimi 3

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Sunday 19 February 2012 3:15

ABH?

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Sunday 19 February 2012 2:42

Cool, you taught your phone to play dead. Now can you teach it to roll over?