Today, I realized that someone spray painted a giant black cock on the front of my house while I was asleep. I also just recently painted my entire house yellow. Yellow doesn't cover up black penis very well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML
Today, my house was broken into. They didn't take much, but they did paint spunking cocks on the walls and furniture. FML
Today, I was painting cabinets for the children's area in my church. While painting, I dropped my brush and got black paint on a white part. I tried to wipe it off. Now there's a very visible smudge that looks like a penis. FML
Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, I woke up to a Swastika, "Go home" and "Trump2020" spray-painted on my car. FML
Today, my roommate drew a giant red penis and scrotum on our refrigerator, using what he thought was a dry erase marker. It was a permanent marker. I just renewed my lease. I get to look at a red penis every day for the next year and a half. FML
Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML
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Top comments
x_Cupcakes 0
Black and yellow! (:
DahkLohd 4
You could have just said "black ****." "Giant black ****" is a bit redundant.
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Comments (210)
HomeAl0ne 20
Hence proving the old saying "Once you try black, you can never go back..."
three3_fml 2
A black guy is asking you out ?
mcdougri 0
black ****! yellow paint! them niggas scared of em but them hoes ain't
ninjapwn 0
yellow may not cover black very well but white covers black and yellow covers white
lmw562 3
paint over it with silver then with your yellow. The silver breaks up the black.
tykiej 0
That is what you get for having a yellow house.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
wth sumone already took black and yellow culdnt hav sayd it better myself :D Sorry about ur problem. when u woke u was probally pissed. at least it wasn't an a** then that would hav been some serious shit. Ball everyone in ur neighbor and try to find ur neighborhood perv who decided to piss u off. Nut thing is right about that.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
and yeah i failed at tht :) very badly
kportal69 5
primer. it's amazing.
thecakeisapie 0
all I have to say about that is: black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow...