No kidding

Q-tips?

punch him in the nose and when it bleeds, offer him a tissue and say 'Well, I'll be damned, I'm not the only one with a hole that's flowing' :)

Assault.

15 - have you ever written a comment without a smiley emoticon? :)

probably not, but I don't see the harm in being a happy person? :)

Slice o cake. Ever been worried you might be murdered by a fat kid like myself.

Shouldn't the security guard be doing, I don't Know, his job? No one comments when he buys his excessive amounts of twinkys.

75 - actually those worries keep me awake at night.

Not security. Close. And im off at home. Stuffing my face with 5 fried chickens and a coke

81- I thought Jake ordered 4 fried chickens and a coke? :) Either way, I'll take some dry, white toast though, please. (Presuming a Blues Brothers quote here. If I'm wrong, please simply dismiss this comment as one made by a super-movie-geek and please carry on.)

That's hilarious!!!

I meant 4. Elwood.

15- brilliant. made me laugh!

The extra one's for BB bassist Donald "Duck" Dunn, he died yesterday. RIP

I'm sorry, but, did anyone else read "I'll be damned," with the voice of Marcellus Wallace from Pulp Fiction?

incredibly rude of him! but this fml made my day! i laughed so hard at this. sorry op!

I would hand him a tampon instead of a tissue hahaha

Well, tampons are absorbent, so it might work better than a tissue.

15- MY NAMES EBONY TOO! SNAP! you're the funniest hahahaha

79- who said he was fat? Sounds like he has an awesome sense of humor in my opinion.

Also, she doesn't have Pepto-Bismol so he's wrong about that too.

no cuz the toilet paper is covering that end

I'm talking about puking...

74- Yea, because I use pepto bismol as an alternative to toilet paper.

77-Wait you don't? That means that...oh.

Q-tips are for the ears? Shit...

You forgot the secret hole that Quagmire discovered on women.. But we will never know what lies there.

102-the hell have you been using them for?

I think it's funny how a Q-Tip box instructs us not to use them in your ears, but everyone does anyways. :)

She forgot napkins too!

145 wait, your not supposed to use them in your ears? Then what are they for?

145 they don't want us to poke our brains

Yo what the **** is toilet paper?

Gobble gobble

Well they're called earbuds where I'm from, even though you're not supposed to use them for your ears because they push the wax deeper in. I use them for things like removing the nail polish that gets on my skin and to apply things that would otherwise stain my fingers like gentian violet or mercurochrome.

77- wait, u mean everyone doesn't do that? Shit.

off the Qtips box: "Warning: Do not insert swab into ear canal". Variety of uses include first aid, household cleaning, and Electronics! I guess i will count my ear as an electronic :)

The box clearly states not to put them into your ear

Dont forget about napkins?

Dont forget about napkins?

#3 *messed *was

hilarious* just thought I would keep it going : )

Thanks, I didnt catch that. My phone has been messing stuff up lately

Ah yes, the classic "I'll-just-blame-autocorrect" move. Nice.

#33 I never blamed autocorrect.

I just simply need a new phone. Thank you for asking, though.

Quick! Balme your comments on a sibling before it gets out of hand!

56- He asked a question?

58- *blame

I do not want things to get out of hand. I do not like to argue, especially on FML. Also, I do not want to argue over something as stupid as a grammatical mistake. So if my original comment is removed, that will honestly be great.

I can't tell if 58 wrote "balme" on purpose...

AwkwardPartyBear- Grammatical mistakes aren't 'stupid'. Grammar and spelling are the essence of world languages today. For example, in Spanish 'papa' is potato and 'papá' is father. While it's cute to love a potato, it's not nearly the same thing as loving your dad. Yes, people on this site tend to nitpick at minute errors, but your past few comments have been a train wreck that seems pathetic to blame on a phone, which you are ultimately controlling. As a saying goes, "Good grammar is the difference between 'knowing your shit and 'knowing you're shit'". Just be more careful next time.

106, Except it is quite stupid when the mistake was corrected (with the exception of 'hillarious') by the original commenter, suggesting they obviously know how to spell, and it was unintentional. I'm all for giving people shit if they've just posted something daft and then left it, but there was an attempt at correcting the mistakes here so why be an ass about it?

106- you missed a ', just sayin'!

Bronies unite!

You need to fix your profile. You can't be all three types of ponies. You can be an alicorn (Like Celestia and Luna) but You can't say you are an earth pony on top of that, because earth ponies are basically just ponies without wings or horns!

Once again, I do not want to argue. I have corrected most of my mistakes(with the acception of hilarious). Also I do not want to argue about my profile. I will change it if you like so we can all move on, because therefore, my hooves are tired

205 - "because therefore"? It's safe to say that makes zero sense. Also, *except, since we're on a roll with this anyways.

That sir, was beautiful!

Well, he is right, right?

Thank you for correcting me. Now, is there anyone else who would like to make a comment? No? Okay, good.

I would and so I did.

Are you guys seriously having an MLP discussion here? Go do that somewhere else; this website has nothing to do with that show and therefore is not the place to talk about it.

No he was a Disney character I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be allowed last time I checked.

5 - Usually when I see grammatical errors it's within a comment, not a username. Thanks for being my first, *You'reaFailmod

Ah yeah

Put your tongue back in you mouth homeboy..

Am I the only one who thought he was a black homer Simpson at first? Yes? ok :(....

Are awesome

Moderated while saying one word only. Congratufuckinglations.

You have really pretty eyes lol random... Haha

Omg I completely agree! This is not an FML it's just funny :)

And you have gay bunner ears on your head.

Creep...

Err, thanks. But there's private messaging for a reason. :) Compliment me over that!

125, Slow down! Have some respect for yourself. It's good to see that these days there are guys willing to wait for private messaging and not just jump into it with every girl he sees! Good on him for waiting. You PM ****.