Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, I had to beg my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This is a basic weekly argument. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he hasn't showered in over a week, because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he hasn't showered in over a week because he "doesn't like to be wet." FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he hasn't showered since our first date. We've been dating for three weeks. FML
Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML
Today, after not showering with my boyfriend in 3 months, he called me in to the bathroom and asked me to shower with him. After getting excited and ripping my clothes off, I get in and he asks me to wash his hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend hasn't showered in two weeks. He says he doesn't want his "manliness" to wash off. FML
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Top comments
Cokencsi 0
I hope you give him oral AFTER he bathes at least. gross.
ewheeley 0
easy fix... dump him. he has a problem, and it's not like you're married. what do you even find attractive about a guy who never showers?
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Comments (215)
darkmis1 18
Did you ever stop to think that he only gets a shower every 10 days because he knows you'll give him oral sex? He seriously probably only does that so you'll suck his dick. YDI.
smartman136 8
snick plz d0 (_)5 4 f4/0|^ 4//d 570£ 831//9 4 9|^4//4|^ //4z1 0// c3rt41// £0575 4//d //155£3||1//9 eww.
sayntdavid 0
says the guy on fml
Snugglez 0
and your with him because?
lindsaylikeomg 0
the sandwich thing got old a million years ago. stop trying to use it to make yourself look funny.
sourgirl101 29
Apparently pandas are extremely horny creatures so he had tons of footage.
Emrysa 1
You're doing it wrong. You're giving him incentive to not shower by rewarding him with head. You're like a mom who buys their kid a toy every time they have a fit to bribe them not to have a fit, they eventually learn that if they keep having fits, they'll be rewarded. Next time tell him, you're never getting oral again unless you take showers regularly. Stick with it. If he dumps you, then you're not going out with a two year old with a hygiene problem anymore.
Domonator 16
Emrysa, you are completely correct. I want to add that the OP has probably avoided giving oral to any number of nice, polite, clean guys who would have really, really appreciated it, just so she could pleasure this hygenically impaired moron who has little respect for himself and less for the OP. The OP has no self-respect, at all.
Colin466 0
YDI for continuing to date a disgusting man! you are just enableing him to continue his filthy lifestyle! grow some self esteem and find a new man... a clean one.
jeydonwaleiscute 0
ydi for dating a guy like that
Monikabug 9
I'm a fan. Just throwing it out there. :)