By Ouch - 18/1/2021 08:02 Fragile Today, I'm 3 days post-partum and my husband accidentally jabbed into my side while flopping onto the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 804 You deserved it 84 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Adulting Today, I accidentally washed an entire box of macaroni and cheese with a load of laundry. I'm 25 and do not have kids. FML I agree, your life sucks 1992 You deserved it 2580 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nosleep Today, like every other day since I moved into this apartment a year ago, the construction crew started their noisy work at 5:30 in the morning. When I moved in I was promised it was a quiet neighborhood; only offices. What have they been building in the meantime? Three nightclubs. FML I agree, your life sucks 3484 You deserved it 255 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkwardbf - United States Today, I was sitting on my boyfriends lap and we were hanging out, talking, and enjoying each other's company. Then he looked into my eyes and right when I thought he was going to kiss me, he said "I can feel your heartbeat on my dick." FML I agree, your life sucks 25743 You deserved it 4808 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lisa - United States Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML I agree, your life sucks 12433 You deserved it 51573 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Gray_Kitty - United States - Omaha Today, a woman came in to order lunch. She ordered a sandwich then asked for me to configure it precisely to her complicated desires. This took a whole 5 minutes, during the lunch rush. When I told her the cost, she decided it was too expensive and cancelled her order. FML I agree, your life sucks 11603 You deserved it 748 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Smoothskin - Australia - Heidelberg Today, I shaved my face after several months of growth. This would be OK if my 4-year-old daughter would still talk to me. Apparently she doesn't recognise me, and I'm scary. FML I agree, your life sucks 46193 You deserved it 3920 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ohdear - United Kingdom - Leeds Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML I agree, your life sucks 1571 You deserved it 566 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Professionally Curtious Today, I was offered my dream job. When I gave my current employer my 2+ weeks notice so they'd have time to find a replacement, I was told to pack up and leave immediately. Now I'm out a month's pay because I gave notice instead of just leaving. FML I agree, your life sucks 5962 You deserved it 412 29 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nah - United States - San Antonio Today, I started my period. Every time I try to open a tampon, my dog goes crazy thinking it's one of his treats. Now I have to open them with my hair dryer on. FML I agree, your life sucks 24277 You deserved it 2924 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepy Today, I was trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, my next-door neighbor's baby began to cry. I closed the window and rolled over, unable to hear the crying anymore. My dog's hearing is better than mine, and so he started barking. Goodbye, good night's sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1519 You deserved it 156 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Confused - United Kingdom - London Today, I was yelled at for smoking at a bus stop, because a woman didn't appreciate me smoking by her children. She did this while waving her own lit cigarette in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 37016 You deserved it 5403 205 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whateven - United States - Allentown Today, my boss "borrowed" my prescription sunglasses off my desk. She crashed her car because they made her dizzy, and thinks I should pay for the damages. FML I agree, your life sucks 52403 You deserved it 2803 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wtf - 20/2/2021 05:01 Polyamory is complicated Today, I had amazing sex with my new boyfriend. Later, my husband told me I'd betrayed him, even though he had told me it was okay, because he heard it. I’ve been forced to hear to him through the thin walls of our house, having sex with my ex, for almost a year. FML I agree, your life sucks 653 You deserved it 1230 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AloneAtPerkins - 26/11/2020 03:58 - United States - West Bend Sticky situation Today, I drove all the way to another state and dealt with Chicago traffic on the way just to learn to drive stick. I couldn't learn, because the truck was suddenly unavailable, and when it was available again, whoever had it last lost the keys. Guess I gotta make another trip. FML I agree, your life sucks 637 You deserved it 84 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By IcyWindows - United States - Syracuse Today, my neighbor yelled at me because, according to him, the sound of me scraping the ice off my windshield wakes him up every morning. This is the same neighbor who ran over my mailbox last week because there was too much snow on his windows to see properly. FML I agree, your life sucks 43712 You deserved it 3001 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Sechelt Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family. I asked her if she wanted something to drink, and my brother reacted by snorting and calling me a "cuck". Apparently offering your girlfriend a drink means you're being cuckolded now. God, I hope he was adopted. FML I agree, your life sucks 22557 You deserved it 1865 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By I need cuddles Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend is physically affectionate with me is when he wants to have sex. When I suggested we just cuddle, he looked at me and said, "What’s the point in that?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1926 You deserved it 307 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 19/1/2021 05:02 Sticky situation Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML I agree, your life sucks 330 You deserved it 893 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By s0728 - United States - San Antonio Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML I agree, your life sucks 37480 You deserved it 3289 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I gave my cat a little kiss on the head. Just as I was about to tell him I love him, he sneezed directly into my face. It's been two hours and I still can't get the taste of cat snot out of my mouth. I probably need to get a life. FML I agree, your life sucks 11934 You deserved it 3613 32 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sad sister - 27/7/2020 14:00 Bye bye love Today, after my younger sister always made a habit of using everything of mine, from clothes to shoes to jewelry, the list now includes my boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 1277 You deserved it 96 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bustedfornuthin - United States Today, I was arrested by the police for sitting in what they thought was a stolen vehicle. After being slammed into the back of a squad car at gun point, they realized the car was actually recovered a week ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 35776 You deserved it 2483 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, my boss fired me because a coworker had seen me reading magazines on the job. That same coworker was the one who offered me the magazine. FML I agree, your life sucks 43018 You deserved it 7899 55 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Catpiss - United States - San Bernardino Today, I finished filling the pages in my passport. Also today, my mom's cat urinated on my backpack, soaking my passport with rancid pee. I have visas that last 10 years and can't be moved to a new passport, so I have to keep this nostril-burning booklet. FML I agree, your life sucks 4087 You deserved it 617 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Abby - United States Today, I got wasted at a party and went out to my car to get something. I went back to the house and realized I got locked out. After knocking on the door, ringing the doorbell, and shouting "LET ME INNNN" my friend called and asked where I was. That's when I realized I was at the wrong house. FML I agree, your life sucks 8062 You deserved it 39463 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By weeble_wobbles09 - United States Today, my Nana showed me her new sign that says, "Some of my greatest blessings call me Nana." We stood there looking at a wall FULL of pictures of her grandkids, which is where she wanted to hang it. After scanning the wall a couple times, I realized. There was not one picture of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31355 You deserved it 2806 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 3/4/2020 08:00 Not so special Today, the guy I've been dating and sleeping with told me he is also dating another woman, but that they only kiss. I was under the impression we were exclusive for two months now, since I told him if we slept together that it would be. FML I agree, your life sucks 1976 You deserved it 393 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By eyegouger15 - United States Today, I got out of bed, soaked up the beautiful sunlight, and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. I saw my dad rummaging through the fridge, shirtless and one ball poking through his underwear. I needed to see that about as much as I need ass cancer. FML I agree, your life sucks 23760 You deserved it 2572 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ocdeane - Germany - Mainz Disgusting Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML I agree, your life sucks 1494 You deserved it 242 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maxiflouf - France Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML I agree, your life sucks 23727 You deserved it 2905 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyBallsForSaleOnEbay - Malta - Naxxar Today, I screamed like a little girl and scrambled to climb atop the toilet seat when I saw a cockroach running around our bathroom. My 5-year-old nephew came in, slapped it to death and said not to be scared, because he'll always protect me. FML I agree, your life sucks 27042 You deserved it 7186 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Just Awkward Today, I was in class rubbing my hands together. The lecturer thought that because my hands were up, I had a question. I replied with, "Oh, no I was just playing with myself." Just as it left my mouth, I realised what I was saying. FML I agree, your life sucks 4412 You deserved it 1227 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By merp. - United States - Wausau Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML I agree, your life sucks 30576 You deserved it 6051 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lehonX9 - Germany - Hanover Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML I agree, your life sucks 30672 You deserved it 9673 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By imsadnow - United States Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 38041 You deserved it 7271 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Rock Springs Today, I checked the app I had used during the night. It's supposed to record you while you sleep if you make any noise, and I had downloaded because my friends say I snore. The only noise it picked up was my parents having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 38177 You deserved it 3764 167 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Damnlife123 - United States Today, I was playing and laughing with my new baby boy. He was giggling, and it was adorable. Out of nowhere I say "you're my favorite!". Now I'm sitting here talking to my two other children about how what I said earlier I didn't mean personally. They never want to talk to me again. FML I agree, your life sucks 19210 You deserved it 130416 258 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Fernie Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML I agree, your life sucks 50961 You deserved it 8098 104 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mee - Australia Dates that matter Today, my boyfriend sang "Happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembers the date of the first time he went down on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 35702 You deserved it 4636 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I felt like too much of a loser to go to a Christmas party, since I'd be the only one going without a date. I had to invent imaginary friends who were "coming into town for the holidays" to feel like less of a loser. FML I agree, your life sucks 26338 You deserved it 9819 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I woke up with a sore clitoris. I haven't had sex with my boyfriend for weeks, but I did masturbate yesterday. I guess I can't get horny without... I agree, your life sucks 135 You deserved it 30 2 Comments
Today, my dad asked my mom to flash him. He didn't forget I was in the room, he just couldn't be bothered to wait. My mom obliged. FML I agree, your life sucks 578 You deserved it 77 4 Comments
