Intimacy, Relationships and Relatable: Whatever works

Whatever works

By dumblonde78 - 17/07/2021 14:01

Today, I noticed that to get my boyfriend to do what I want, I must bribe him with food instead of sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 296

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Same thing different taste

Protip

By Anonymous - 13/04/2015 01:56 - United States

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 981

You deserved it 4 442

Effective

By zstarr - 14/07/2012 11:15 - United States - Rome

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 622

You deserved it 32 434

By Anonymous - 19/03/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 890

You deserved it 22 199

By anon. - 17/01/2012 23:41 - United States

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 163

You deserved it 8 787

Good girl

By StarvedForAffection - 13/01/2021 17:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 271

By xxruby - 24/02/2015 21:07 - United States - Katy

Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 446

You deserved it 3 562

By sheyshey0413 - 13/06/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 044

You deserved it 6 941

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 387

Food fight

By hss - 30/05/2011 01:59 - United States

Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 889

You deserved it 49 756

By flowerging - 11/04/2013 04:53 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I offered to pay my boyfriend to buy me flowers. He still refused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 499

You deserved it 16 270

roxsie_rox 6

Saturday 17 July 2021 15:33

I wish I had this problem ! lol mine only responds if it involves sex 🤦🏽

QueenSaru 28

Saturday 17 July 2021 21:03

Hey at least it's faster.

Comments

roxsie_rox 6

Saturday 17 July 2021 15:33

I wish I had this problem ! lol mine only responds if it involves sex 🤦🏽

Yudith 24

Saturday 17 July 2021 19:05

Could you bribe your boyfriend into exercising with food? Maybe if you get the right exercise-to-food ratio, they will cancel each other out.

QueenSaru 28

Saturday 17 July 2021 21:03

Hey at least it's faster.

cacheson 41

Saturday 17 July 2021 21:31

A little monetary cost, but significantly less effort. Seems like an okay trade off to me…

ahabsfan 14

Saturday 17 July 2021 22:27

You need to work on your oral skills. Become a better communicator is what I mean.

Doom_Kitty 12

Sunday 18 July 2021 11:40

It's about saying "what about us doing xy and then rewarding us with xy?" and not "do this or that or else .." Works for us much better :D

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 874

You deserved it 3 148

Today, my roommate wanted me to try out a new bus route home, I knew it might take longer but she really wanted me to try, so I went with her. After waiting for ages at The Exchange bus stop for the last bus home, we missed it, and had to take an Uber. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 174

The Top

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 100

You deserved it 3 548

Today, due to problems with my ears overproducing wax, I got my own water ear cleaner. I then learned that there's a reason doctors use warm water with it. As it turns out, if you don't use warm water, you get nauseous and begin heavily favoring one side of your body, appearing as though you're recovering from a stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 173

Today, I told my cousin I was admitted to a top MBA program. He asked if it was an online-only certificate program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 203

Today, I got congratulations at work for being "so focused" and "not spending time on my phone." I didn't have the heart to tell my manager I don't spend time on my phone because I have no friends to talk to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 158

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

Today, I "woofed" at a man on a gay dating site before realizing he's my Psych professor. Now during every lecture I'll never forget his nipples are pierced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 618

You deserved it 1 600