Intimacy: Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week,...

By chacha - 28/11/2009 18:11 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 529

You deserved it 5 526

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 4 699

By Anonymous - 17/01/2016 18:41 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 696

You deserved it 3 985

Poor pillow

By Randy Candy - 12/02/2021 17:01 - United States

Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 271

Fart are funny, period

By amg85904 - 30/01/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 895

You deserved it 6 587

By Light Sleeper - 14/10/2012 04:24 - United States - Evansville

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 4 479

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 034

You deserved it 2 310

By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 883

You deserved it 9 215

By ihateeverything - 14/01/2015 17:35 - United States - Granbury

Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 503

You deserved it 8 449

Stop, please stop

By yuck - 05/06/2015 19:11

Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 424

You deserved it 4 198

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 292

You deserved it 831

facefirst 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:06

That blows.

mykehawke 0

Saturday 28 November 2009 23:07

you can be my roommate anytime 

Comments

CallMeHush 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 12:37

Please say your not a dude. Please?

FromCFL 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:03

OP has to be a guy. There's no real FML otherwise. (Of course, there's no real FML to the vast majority of postings to FML, so who knows?) Hope the fact that he likes to suck dick didn't cum as a cumplete slurprise to him....

xoxcinderellaxox 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 16:03

wait. so your a man doing a ******* to your roomie who's also a he, ryt? is he gay or just simply allowing it coz he can't find a girl.

larcenousturco 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 18:02

there's totally an fml if it's a girl... unless every girl likes sucking dick in their sleep...

Icutu7 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 19:35

I would beat the living holy **** outta my room mate if he didn't tell me, then I would clean my hands, mouth, ass for 2 weeks strait(unless the OP was a girl bur then it would just depend if the guys hot or not)

Zarggg 0

Sunday 29 November 2009 23:48

If he was pretending it never happened, how is this a FML? Have you been WANTING to give him a *******?

arioch_fml 20

Thursday 10 August 2017 17:54

Because after the first time it happened, he should have stopped the Op. Pretending it didn't happen? It means he wanted it to keep happening. That's the only reason to not tell Op about it.

Lucky2u 0

Monday 30 November 2009 1:12

eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Lucky2u 0

Monday 30 November 2009 1:16

and that had to be a girl OP. No straight or gay guy would have pretended nothing happened if his male roommate was blowing him at night. he would have beat the shit out of him if he was straight or cum on to him later if he was gay (see what I did there?)

2Bpencil 0

Monday 30 November 2009 2:34

just wondering, you've been subconsciously wanting to give him a head?

cowgirlabm 0

Monday 30 November 2009 7:00

your right that is an FML its bad enough if your a girl but if u were a guy the next long hard thing my mouth would touch would be a loaded rifle barell