Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML
Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML
Today, I dreamed that I cheated on my boyfriend. I was so overwhelmed with guilt that I called him while half-asleep to tell him about it and apologize. I'm fully awake now and he doesn't believe it was really a dream. FML
Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML
Today, I woke up to my roommate screaming. Turns out, I had sleepwalked into her bed during the night. I don’t remember anything, but apparently I told her, “Shhh, don’t mention the ducks” before laying down next to her and fell asleep. FML
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Top comments
facefirst 0
That blows.
mykehawke 0
you can be my roommate anytime
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Comments (138)
Mismatchedmind 0
Guess it depends whether the sleepwalker is a guy or a girl... roommate... propably also a guy do FML for both of you!
misha1995 0
I dont think it's COMPLETELY an FML for the roommate, since he got a happy ending
DameGreyWulf 1
If it's a guy or a girl he thought more of as a sister, it can still be an FML because he probably feels (guy) like he's not as straight as he thought (girl) like a dirty birdy Unless the room mate is gay, then if it's a guy he thought of as a brother...
jordynf10 0
well did he like it?
perdix 31
Did you swallow or spit?
darebear331 4
Spitters are quitters :)
megapeyt 17
Perdix you have a knack for asking all the critically important questions. Well played
DynamicDave 11
I'm curious as to how you found out. Also, if you're a girl (i'm on my iPhone) will you be my roommate? lol
ggrls 0
I'll be your girl no problem
Jasheegeee 0
next time pretend you woke up fromsleep walking
aTRAGEDY 0
wow that's really disturbing imma hope ur a girl since ur name is cha cha
MrMeganFox 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dude that blows.... lol pun intended
michaelcarell 0
Let's hope you're a woman or you're both openly homosexual. Otherwise… it must be extremely awkward to look him in the face.
xSceneSceneBabyx 0
are you a man?...YAOI!!!! xD
lokar_ogar 11
Yaoi is underage boys, Not men. You pedophile
paladininwaiting 1
ummmmm........??....er.......hmmm....