Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
johobus28 26
I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"
sorryheadphones 26
*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (57)
StarkWolf_fml 23
just repeat after me Goosefraba
ShitHappen_fml 15
we have something in common!
rabid_otaku 29
That's not anger issues. That's amusing insanity.
i_needa_username 17
YOU ******* GOOSE STOP BEING SUCH A ******* GOOSE DO UR JOB THAT YOU ARE ALREADY DOING.
thisguy22 33
That's just anger man... No management about it.
weveallbeenthere 30
you failed at tha management part, anger wins again. but geese to suck.
CaroAurelia 12
Have you ever SEEN a goose? Being a goose is a good enough reason to incur someone's wrath.
thes7274473 19
You need help, man
grimpeeper 13
Damn geese.
worldclassrager 41
A gaggle of geese must make you insane...maybe a drill sergeant wouldn't be a bad job for you