Animals: Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when... - FML

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 648

You deserved it 8 899

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 157

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 347

You deserved it 28 543

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 248

You deserved it 1 085

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 474

You deserved it 4 117

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 008

You deserved it 29 537

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 560

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 288

You deserved it 9 810

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 687

You deserved it 5 352

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 850

You deserved it 3 603

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 6 268

Next

Top comments

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

Comments

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

BigLatchZatch 14

Monday 1 December 2014 23:40

DAMN IT GOOSE. YOU HAD ONE JOB: TO BE A GOOSE AND YOU'RE DOING IT.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:11

I WANTED YOU TO BE A ******* DUCK! AGH!

GoldFishPony 21

Tuesday 2 December 2014 0:20

I have to question whether OP is named William Henry Devereaux Jr...

T_Young96 13

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:54

I hit rock bottom when I thought that read.. "I JUST WANT TO **** YOU GOOSE".. And for that.. I apologize.

wilber245 16

Monday 1 December 2014 22:38

Well with some people you scream at them for being stupid, and everybody knows, you cant fix stupid.

Dlzq 22

Monday 1 December 2014 22:41

That's hilarious, sorry for you, though.

patrickeli 15

Monday 1 December 2014 22:43

I wish there was a backstory to this.

Fuaaad1994 31

Monday 1 December 2014 23:44

Op obviously saw the goose when she stormed outside after beating her daughter with a *****.

DiamondGirlj 18

Tuesday 2 December 2014 2:28

Wrong way around. OP got mad at the goose, only to come home to find OP's daughter's ***** thing and beat her with it

PePziNL 20

Tuesday 2 December 2014 3:57

No no no, she beat the ***** with the goose because she was angry at it for being a duck... Uuhm, I'm confused.

piff7 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:21

OP was having a bad day after discovering her at shat on her favorite shoes. To calm herself she took a stroll around a pond. Along the way she came across this goose. The goose was just chilling out like a normal goose and OP needed to lash out on something, anything and the goose seemed like the perfect target

KitchKraft 21

Wednesday 3 December 2014 0:11

You're all wrong. The goose was the *****.

qchris87 17

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

Both you and the goose need help

cheshirecat13242 32

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

Things being what they are has always pissed me off too

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

barfcannon 24

Monday 1 December 2014 22:47

I don't blame you. Geese are the worst.

Oyas12 14

Monday 1 December 2014 22:48

It's ok, maybe you will react more positive to other animals?

joarasmi 24

Monday 1 December 2014 22:49

Lol did he eat all ur bread

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Social Media Love Facebook Am I overreacting? AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Students Relatable Technology Education Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward

The Top

Today, I noticed one of my toenails was getting super long, so I cut it. In doing so, I accidentally ripped it off and it started bleeding. As I went to get something to stop it from bleeding, I got a huge splinter in my little toe, causing a painful infection. I think I should just go back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 170

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 670

You deserved it 39 754

The Top

Today, I was walking home from when I passed an old woman sitting on the curb of Walmart begging for change. I gave her my last dollar and felt good about it. Five minutes later I saw the same woman driving away in a car. I don't even own a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 639

You deserved it 11 195

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 002

You deserved it 6 750

Today, after buying dinner from the supermarket, I had the change in my hand, and my wallet. In the parking lot, a quarter fell out of my hand, and right next to the street drain. As I went to pick it up, my wallet fell down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 355

You deserved it 11 275

Today, I found out that my fiancée wishes she'd never said yes when I proposed, as she is in love with another man, and has been hiding their relationship for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 897

You deserved it 143

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 090

You deserved it 7 690

Today, I was lying on the couch with my boyfriend and was feeling tired, so I got a soda. I sat back down and surprised him with a passionate kiss. I also surprised him when I suddenly burped right into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 189

You deserved it 47 573