Animals: Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when...

By WickedLittleDoll - 01/12/2014 16:38 - United States - Laurinburg

Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 638

You deserved it 8 882

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Same thing different taste

Vicious bastards

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 22:01 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 15:08 - United States

Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 28 534

No bother

By Geese Ahoy - 14/11/2016 17:00 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 240

You deserved it 1 084

By fml...really - 27/11/2009 07:45 - United States

Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 469

You deserved it 4 101

By fuck teh poleese - 12/02/2012 21:50 - United States

Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 000

You deserved it 29 522

By SwordFish8 - 04/07/2009 21:56 - United States

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 868

You deserved it 64 533

Freakout

By Anonymous - 06/08/2013 06:19 - United States

Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 284

You deserved it 9 787

By Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 681

You deserved it 5 350

By targe - 19/10/2011 09:40 - Australia

Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 845

You deserved it 3 599

By Evil_Angel_90 - 10/09/2013 11:36 - Australia

Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 019

You deserved it 6 256

johobus28 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:37

I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"

sorryheadphones 26

Monday 1 December 2014 22:44

*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"

Comments

ghostBuster000 4

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:15

"Anger management": I do not think it means what you think it means.

AverageJoey 18

Tuesday 2 December 2014 5:51

You have to be loose with the goose and let it do what it wants.

suruhhhhh 8

Tuesday 2 December 2014 6:30

I'm really a duck type of person too...

RobinGoodfellow 47

Tuesday 2 December 2014 6:58

In fairness, they're horrible creatures.

Sudoc 29

Tuesday 2 December 2014 9:46

Better that screaming at a person for being a person.

Lexipants 21

Tuesday 2 December 2014 11:10

You're not insane. Geese are terrible.

ThePols 11

Tuesday 2 December 2014 12:45

To be fair, geese are huge pricks.

kalbrek009 20

Tuesday 2 December 2014 17:35

Definitely have more issues than just "anger management"...please seek help, it'll do wonders for your outlook on life.

hordriss 14

Tuesday 2 December 2014 19:08

I don't know why, but for some reason I found this hilarious.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Tuesday 2 December 2014 20:55

Geese are evil, but that is an overreaction.

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The Top

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 202

You deserved it 3 628

Today, I drove to a job interview. I had to sneeze, but because I was driving on the highway, I didn't let go of the wheel to cover my mouth. I didn't know the sneeze was a "productive" one until I was sitting in the interview, looked down at my new blouse, and saw the giant lugie sitting there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 8 930

The Top

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 982

You deserved it 27 160

Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 890

You deserved it 3 176

Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 765

You deserved it 4 377

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 428

You deserved it 43 660

Today, I found out my dog can open the fridge. Now I have no food left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 118

Today, I took my brother to the bathroom at a restaurant. The stall next to mine was locked, so I assumed he was still in there. I yelled his name a few times, then banged on the door out of annoyance. I gave up and returned to the table, where he was sitting with a grin. Turns out I just traumatized a poor lady in the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 382

Same thing different taste

Vicious bastards

No bother

Freakout

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