Today, I realized my anger management has hit a new low when I screamed at a goose for being a goose. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went for a "relaxing" walk on a local trail. I got chased by an angry goose halfway back to my car. Apparently, it didn’t appreciate my "peaceful" attempt to take a selfie with it. FML
Today, I decided to go for a jog to try and get fit. I definitely got my exercise in, because I was mercilessly chased by a goose. FML
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
Today, I was reading on a park bench not far from a grassy spot and a pond. A flock of geese landed on the grassy patch and began to eat some grass. I thought that I may be bothering the geese, but decided if I left them alone, they'd leave me alone as well. I was wrong. Geese are assholes. FML
Today, we took the kids to the local pond near my sister-in-law's to feed the geese. I hadn't been there before, and thought I'd take a picture. I turned around to adjust my camera, but the geese, realizing the feast had ended, took flight. Before I could react I was showered with goose shit. FML
Today, I realized that I probably have anger issues. I came to this conclusion after I finished screaming abuse at the microwave for beeping before I could hit the off switch. FML
Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML
Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
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Top comments
johobus28 26
I can totally imagine that haha "**** YOU GOOSE WHY ARE YOU A GOOSE!"
sorryheadphones 26
*sits with pad and pen* "...and how does that make you feel?"
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Comments (57)
Tsukiyomi 16
The goose deserved it But on a side not I get to go listen to Goose House again. Thanks you OP
Kitsune_Hana 9
If it makes you feel any better, I think you might be my new hero. Geese terrify me, and I mean the climb on a picnic table and have a panic attack if surrounded terrify me. So as far as I'm concerned yell at them to your hearts content. And yes I know that it's weird and illogical to be afraid of geese, but who said phobias made sense.
kamirayy 4
you are my hero. geese scare the shit out of me
Violet_Embers95 22
I can understand that. Geese are extremely annoying and mean!
alexh55 8
Goose
zykrithium 22
You're not angry, just an idiot.
Shawnie Gallant 24
I get angry all of the time, turned out to be PTSD. Maybe see a psych