Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
tigrouficele2012 44
I know it's practically unheard of to comment on an FML with actual advice when being rude is so much more fun, but do you live near a daycare or preschool? Maybe you could go read to the kids there if you feel lonely. It might help you feel like you "have a life", as well, if that's your concern.
oldwiseguy 0
Libraries have programs for adults to read to children. Check it out! just think how crazy you'd be if you didn't have a cat!
misspeg 0
all the people who said she's nuts are slack. OP sounds really lonely :( but cheerio, u can always call up your gas or telephone company for a chat. the customer service reps can do one better than your cat. they'll even pretend to be listening AND care lol
Melly18 0
That is soo cute!! Just gorgeous :P
jlaine910 0
that's actually kind of adorable. if it makes you happy, don't worry about it. :)
guitarplaya612 0
I agree with your son.
blastvortex 4
I hope the cat enjoyed that as much as I did. ^o^/ FTR, I've seen people do stranger things with their pets though... *coughpetshoescough*
FerrariCake 2
You dont need the psych ward... you just need more cats. I think when you collect at least 20 cats, your house is automatically classified as a psych ward. Much easier than moving.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Eh, your son needs to grow a sense of humor. Reading for the cat is adorable.
xDEEEEEEEEEEE 0
That is too cuute