Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
MrPresidentBoss1 0
Don't be weird, meet people, and don't talk to your cat. Sometimes it's ok to say things to your cat but never read to it.
truladyred 0
Maybe you just need a dog. Cats don't appreciate being read to as much as dogs do. All in all, this isn't a FML, this is a WIN!
GreenGuy15 0
Why does your son have that number
glompable 19
BAM
LemonStarship 5
Did your cat like the story?
missgreenday 0
Now that's funny.
mikk 3
don't go to psychiatric ward for a thing like that, they just give to you heavy drugs. Find some friend, or lover!
xxmoronxx 0
yes, did your cat like the story? i talk to my pets. it always seems like they're the only one who will listen.
wh4t3v3R 0
Me too! I just don't tell people about it. Crazy is like a tree falling in a forest...
ColdGold 6
Don't you wonder where kids get their silly ideas? I mean. You are cool enough to read to your cat, but your son is clueless. Sorry.
TulipsAreBetter1 0
awwww :(
Deadguy71 0
I'd be more concerned that my son knew the number off-hand like that. Awfully convenient.