Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I was home alone, so I started singing to my cat. After a half hour of this, I finally stopped. Then I heard applauding. I turned around to find my parents standing in my doorway. FML
Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML
Today, I heard my mom ask "Are you okay?" I opened my mouth to tell her about how I've been feeling suicidal lately. At that second, I realized she was talking to my cat. FML
Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I had the house to myself, and I started talking to myself and singing at full volume. When I went to use the bathroom, I found my constipated cousin looking at me strangely. FML
Today, I was trying to keep myself occupied due to my recent breakup. I was reading this book someone gave me about animal communication, so after a while, I figured I'd give it a shot. Then it dawned on me; I'm single, at home on a Friday night, and I'm trying to talk to my dog. FML
Today, my mom decided to only speak to me through our pet cat. FML
Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML
Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML
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Top comments
amiracle 0
What, so cats cant enjoy How The Grinch Stole Christmas? Wait, what was the point here?
glorbnakcs 0
FYL indeed for having a douche for a son. I'm not a lonely person, but I read to my dog sometimes. Guess what. I bet lots of other people do it as well. It doesn't make them crazy.
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Comments (83)
yuchuanzhen 0
我发现我自己独自生活得太久了。我读《圣诞怪杰》给我的猫听，读的生活声情并茂，并确保他能看到上面的图。我儿子打来电话，我告诉他这件事。他直接给了我最近的精神病医院的电话号码。
BeautifulColours 0
Try English. (Although I can read that).
Neutie 0
I used babelfish to translate that, it's actually just the OP's post in Chinese :P
Person1233 13
The chinese writing reminds me of Chuck Norris battling Jesus for the lulz, in stick figure form.
Vanni 0
English only, please! Thanks. :)
Ipreferbroccoli 0
Do you also smell of desperation?
LilaBear 2
This belongs at MLIA. It is funny and you need to learn to laught at yourself.
jchansfan 0
I'm sure you cat supports his choice to do so.
fobchick 0
Hey Lilabear how about you go **** yourself, stupid bitch.
Skull_300 0
What the ****?
transcedental 18
What the ... it's ok to say "who's my kitty, who's my furry little ball..."etc. but it's not ok to read to your cat? F**kin hypocrits ~_~ cats are the best, keep reading to it OP and ignore what your narrow-minded son have said.. You' re not crazy, cats>people ;]
transcedental 18
snap, double post
Ketsuhime 0
There is nothing wrong with reading to your cat.
ShaydeStar 0
Op...there's nothing wrong with you...or your cat.