By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 773
You deserved it 6 989
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Comments

Enslaved 36

Speaking about buddy-- I have that "Gas buddy" app. I no longer waste gas and time driving all over town looking for the bigger bargain. Prices are all listed by zip codes.

11 2
TheComedyAudio 29

Sorry op, just takes time to find that special someone. Hope it gets better!

40 7
Welshite 39

Yes, like a gas can. I want to be in the wedding!

22 8
dawnimus 21

He calls himself long distance guy, so it's probably just been a while, rather than not having met the right person.

4 3
thecalvin123 21

It's okay man, gas stations turn me on all the time.

93 5
Pleonasm 35

That gas guzzling hummer being filled to the brim with liquid petroleum by that deep pumping action... Enough to rev anyone's engines.

49 1
RedPillSucks 31

Get a grip on my boy racer rollbar Such a thrill when your radials squeal

2 3
BootheGhost 6

It turns the car on too, just don't let it go too fast though or it'll blow its engine and that's a tough mess to clean up.

3 0
viva_la_blondes 15

An erection is like the theory of relativity. The more you think about it, the harder it gets.

117 2
thatisaWIN 5

I always thought of erections as happiness antennas :D.

48 3
17nate 9

Actually, Relativity is pretty simple, if you don't look at the math behind it. String Theory, however, is another story, entirely.

17 4
PossiblyInDanger 24

There are worse things to get turned on by. And spontaneous erections are quite common, especially if you're young.

37 1
ryan4723 22

Wait, your telling me that's not normal??? D:

51 3
BadApple88 29

Nowadays cheap gas prices turn me on too lol

58 0
Jessj958 19

Agreed!! It's ridiculous how much it costs. I get happy when the gas stations across from each other compete, and one is always 1 cent cheaper lol.

3 1
kingdomgirl94 29

In Canada, a ten cent price drop is astounding and boner worthy because we pay around 1.20 CAN a litre. That's 4.60/galleon American.

7 1
RedPillSucks 31

My new catch phrase "that there is 'boner worthy' "

18 1
Sunflower1919 19

#39 in the UK we pay around £1.30 a litre. Google tells me that's $8.24 a gallon

3 2
arandomusernameaa 20

When you think about it petrol is actually quite cheap considering it is drilled from the middle of the ocean, the petrol is separated and then shipped to your pump all for £1.30...

2 0
91hayek 31

For me its when they give me an extra cookie at subway. It used to be that a hot girl used to serve every time I went in at lunch, and as a regular she got to know me. Then all of a sudden my friend turned up there as 'trainee' and has been serving me ever since. The erection never went away. I think I've been pavloved.

8 0
kingdomgirl94 29

Or your friend is hot.

2 0
Uglyfeet 23

Well, then gas prices in Brazil have the same erection-effect as a fat, old man giving you a lap dance wearing a thong... so sad

0 0
Welshite 39

Set up a romantic dinner with the gas pump with gently glowing candles. Your love life will become fiery.

51 2