Miscellaneous: Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is...

By the long distance guy - 08/04/2014 07:56 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I realized how boring and sexually deprived my life is when I found a gas station ten cents cheaper than the one I usually use. It gave me both an asthma attack and an erection, simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 6 986

Epic Easter: Chases and Chutes
From egg hunts gone wrong to unforgettable family dinners, Easter has never been so much fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By maarkblack - 22/05/2013 14:51 - United States

Today, I awoke from a dream that I'd found an Arco gas station that had regular gas for $3.38. I actually went looking for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 229

You deserved it 10 830

By WhoopteeDooDoo - 12/10/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, I pulled into the gas station to fill up only to realize I had forgot my wallet. By the time I went home, got it, and came back, the price had gone up eleven cents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 300

You deserved it 4 969

By Damn_her - 05/03/2009 00:04 - Canada

Today, my wife and I were driving to the gas station, she let me out before she pulled up to the pumps because I had to buy some things from the store. I returned to see my wife proudly filling the tank. Smiling, she told me that diesel was cheaper than regular gas. We don't own a diesel car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 328

You deserved it 8 773

By ChevRooon - 27/01/2012 04:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gas station, paid the clerk, and drove off without pumping any gas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 158

You deserved it 39 024

By casey - 25/03/2009 00:11 - United States

Today, I was sitting at home when I remembered that I desperately needed gas for my car. On my way there, I prayed that my car would make it the whole way, and was thankful when I pulled up to the pump, because I knew my car wouldn't go any further. Then I realized I left my wallet at my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 888

You deserved it 26 438

By GodMemory_AbsentMind - 21/03/2017 18:00

Today, when paying for gas, I realized I'd forgotten my wallet back home. After a moment of panic, I managed to remember my card number. I paid, blowing the cute cashier's mind, and drove away, before my car started sputtering and slowed to a crawl. I'd used the wrong fuel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 565

You deserved it 5 064

By izziegrl - 24/09/2012 18:21 - Mexico - Naucalpan

Today, I realized that I spend more money on gas to go to my job than what I get paid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 417

You deserved it 3 624

By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States

Today, I stopped at the gas station to fill up my tank and get some snacks. I paid the cashier, then got back into my car, totally forgetting to pump the $50 worth of fuel I'd just prepaid for. Too bad I didn't realize until my car came to a sputtering stop about a mile down the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 796

You deserved it 22 636

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 698

You deserved it 1 638

Another fine mess

By MikeMoosey - 30/12/2008 18:00 - United States

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 541

You deserved it 25 427

JandTaco 13

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:50

But didn't it feel great?

Zelphoric 25

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:50

Whoa buddy, calm down :p

Comments

pratikp03 22

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:58

What, the gas price are rise. Can't help but get excited

Mynamewontfi 40

Tuesday 8 April 2014 18:58

With the gasprices these days, I'm not surprised at your reaction, OP.

mudslut712 15

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:00

what the actual ****

littlekellilee 45

Tuesday 8 April 2014 21:07

I vote that people stop saying this. There are no fake ***** in this regard. And it's overused.

17nate 9

Tuesday 8 April 2014 22:02

#40, how about "What the other ****"?

vlalam 24

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:03

Atleast u got some action... Lol.... Jk, things will change for better with time... Hang in there buddy

xXLotSoJelloXx 7

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:12

Uuuhhhhh....hmmmm so was it an eye opener??

sdroze1389 31

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:13

affordable gas has the effect of Spanish fly on viagra for most people, that honestly sounds better than what I did last weekend.

Rajni_dev 12

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:17

You'll find someone in due time OP :)

BootheGhost 6

Wednesday 9 April 2014 18:32

I don't understand why this is downvoted...

Dslayr 4

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:19

10 cents? Would get me aroused

Spyingcheeseman 8

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:25

Dat Gas tho

WizzleMan17 11

Tuesday 8 April 2014 19:30

Dimes always give me an erection too

Keywords

Work Gross Coworkers TMI Racism Kids Scary Customers Geek Gamers Technology Miscellaneous Neighbours Animals Health Insects Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money AITA Love Cheating Roommate Pregnancy Wanker Intimacy Mental health Poopoo peepee Parents

The Top

Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 176

You deserved it 47 573

Today, a sewer main broke just outside of where I work. It smells like a latrine here but we are not allowed to close down, and the county won't do anything about it for two weeks. The only upside is that I'm not dealing with many customers, but having to smell the entire city's feces is way worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 77

The Top

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 801

You deserved it 11 914

Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 433

You deserved it 52 207

Today, my dad congratulated me on having my first girl come over late at night and asked me to be quieter because he could hear us. I'm still single and it was probably me grunting and getting mad losing Plants vs Zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 428

You deserved it 3 514

Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 078

You deserved it 933

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 689

You deserved it 7 188

Today, I made out with a boy for the first time. I belched into his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 358

You deserved it 6 645

Same thing different taste

Another fine mess

Top comments

Comments