Intimacy: Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make... - FML

By mattttbob - 04/02/2012 10:16 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I realised my girlfriend only has sex with me to make me exercise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 513

You deserved it 36 009

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By fatnick - 07/10/2009 17:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 073

You deserved it 3 308

By Anonymous - 06/10/2012 23:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 030

You deserved it 2 833

By rawdoglyfe69 - 17/04/2013 06:14 - United States - Helena

Spicy

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 477

You deserved it 6 074

Get on with it!

By QuickieGirl - 16/09/2011 11:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 381

You deserved it 6 117

By beaverless - 02/05/2011 20:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 526

You deserved it 17 576

Effective

By zstarr - 14/07/2012 11:15 - United States - Rome

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 618

You deserved it 32 410

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 691

You deserved it 5 218

Bored

By Anonymous - 23/06/2022 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 200

You deserved it 380

Health kick

By Anonymous - 05/02/2022 00:01

Spicy

Today, after my wife set a new rule to improve my health, one sex session for every three visits to the gym, which has greatly improved our sex life for two months, and I've never been fitter, but now she complains I'm not keeping her company on the couch anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 723

You deserved it 183

By evecamp - 10/02/2010 05:09 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 092

You deserved it 5 946

Next

Top comments

beddington 7

Saturday 4 February 2012 16:05

Doesn't matter had sex.

MasterE56 4

Saturday 4 February 2012 16:01

Nothing wrong with that!

Comments

crazymalu18 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 3:39

Realized. With a z. Not a s.

Mullak 7

Sunday 5 February 2012 4:10

Realised with an "S" is the European and Australian way of spelling it, it's a "Z" in america they like phonetic spelling

PokerKing1993 3

Sunday 5 February 2012 6:10

Win win situation

BlAzEtHiS 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 6:56

Ay least she cares enough to get you motivated to "work out". My wife and I stay in pretty good shape because of such "motivating factors" ;)

punkrulz 1

Sunday 5 February 2012 7:29

Yeah not seeing how this is an FML!

tracyanai15 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 10:27

What kind of guy complains about having sex? Smfh.

SheepShoop_fml 20

Sunday 5 February 2012 10:54

Sex is the best kind of exercise. But really you should probably do some yourself. Even if it's just walking more often. I swear by squats and kegels too.

Amilcar760 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 12:42

So what's the problem? Sex rocks

meray 1

Sunday 5 February 2012 16:23

on the bright side it's free

bootyful86 7

Sunday 5 February 2012 16:45

If you're that fat you should be thankful you still have a gf

ryizzel22 0

Sunday 5 February 2012 19:50

Dosen't matter had sex

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 270

Today, I took a girl on a date. This girl is tiny, about 4 ft 10 and petite. She ordered a 16 inch pizza, garlic bread, wings, fries, and multiple drinks, and damn if she didn’t eat every bite of it, it was impressive. Until we were screwing later and she vomited the whole meal down my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 167

The Top

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 352

Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 523

Today, I met a really nice guy. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 948

You deserved it 16 359

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 059

You deserved it 10 514

Today, I had a surprise test for Economics. While taking the test, I put my head down so I could think. A while later, I awoke to the whole class turning in their test. I had to turn in my test incomplete. No questions answered, just my name, the date, and a pool of drool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 835

You deserved it 41 951

Today, I'm feeling so lonely and miserable that I started adding a few drops of whiskey to my coffee, just to make all those shitty thoughts disappear for a moment. I know that it won't really help and I need therapy, but I can't afford it right now. On the other hand, it seems that I don't really care anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 161