Humblebrag much?

Today, I realized that I went from being extremely fit, disciplined, and well-groomed to a shell of myself due to my girlfriend's lack of sex drive. I used to have 10/10s hitting me up for threesomes and have women breaking up with their men for a chance with me. Now I'm stuck with someone who doesn't care about sex. FML

Today, my wife told me that the only reason she gets it on with me is for the extra calorie burn. FML

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

Today, I learned two things. First, my girlfriend loves sex. Second, I'm practically the only one she hasn't had sex with in the 2 months we've been dating. FML

Get on with it!

Today, I realized my girlfriend thinks that the goal of sex is to get it over with as quickly as possible. FML

Today, my girlfriend kindly broke the news to me that she doesn't want to take part in any sexual activity anymore because it's getting too boring. FML

Classic

Today, I found my girlfriend in bed with her gym trainer. They said they were doing cardio. FML

Effective

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

Bored

Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML