Today, I read an incoming message on my wife's phone. "I miss your warm hands and mouth". The message came from a female co-worker of hers. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife’s ex-boyfriend sent me a message with a screenshot of her trying to get in touch with him. FML
Today, I accidentally said, "Bye, love you," to a co-worker as I clocked out. Before I made it home, I had six missed calls and a long text from my co-worker professing her love to me. FML
Today, I got a text from a number I didn’t recognize that said, "I miss you." Assuming it was my mom and her new phone, I replied, "Miss you too, love you!" Turns out it was my new boss, checking to see if I’d be able to work an extra shift. Even though it was her text that was badly worded, I'm now known as the person who declared her love to the boss. FML
Today, I received a call from my wife. It would've been great if she hadn't left on a business trip three years ago. FML
Today, I got my phone fixed and the lady who was working on it somehow resent all the old text messages in my outbox. One was to my ex saying, "I love you." FML
Today, My girlfriend and I were watching tv when suddenly one of our phones start going off. We both have the same phone and they were next to each other. She picks up the phone and reads the text message, "I wish you were here! I'd fuck you silly" She gets pissed and runs out. It was her phone. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML
Today, my co-worker handed me the phone and said it was my boyfriend calling, so I answered "Hello, Love!" It was my boss. FML
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Top comments
birds_fml 7
Maybe her coworker texted it to the wrong number. Don't be so quick to jump to conclusions.
BurpusMe 0
Text back! "Come over to meet my husband. Dress sexy."
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Comments (253)
made_of_fail 0
From the sound of that text - if you don't take it as a joke - the woman that sent it might be down for a threesome! Provided you and your wife talk it over first. [;
annamg 0
Why is it that when there's a FML about a man cheating on a woman, everyone says "dump him," but when it's a woman cheating on a man, everyone goes, "OMG THREESOME!"
spongebobrocks 0
Because straight men are schauvinistic turds who only care about getting laid :] Pft, it doesn't matter at ALL that his wife that he loves a lot is cheating on him, oh God forbid, let's all have an ORGY! :D -sarcasam-.
fudrick 0
@#55 Yeah stereotypes are so awesome, aren't they? And how did you post that, did your husband/father let you bring his computer into the kitchen?
lifeislife_fml 0
Agreed with #41 and 55.
danielrp34 7
@76 You made me laugh my ass off. I mean it.
spongebobrocks 0
I'm a guy, by the way.
Enryu 0
what the? i think they deleted my post anyways: i think your wife just changed the name of her male lover to a female name so you wont get conspicious
EndZone 0
wtf is "conspicious"?
Makiki_89 0
Because girls can't possibly be lesbians. No, impossible...
FrankieTheNimrod 0
I think you mean suspicious, but sure, I guess it's possible that she's disguising the number.
AP13_13 0
but she is still cheating... what difference does the gender make?
_Underscore 0
That's what I was thinking #42
Nonamerequired 0
Yeah but we're trying to make him think positive again :)
Bloodknight 22
When she goes to kiss you, see if her breath smells like fish. If so, you'll have your answer!
marz88 0
I feel sorry for you because the women you have been with smell life fish =P
luvs2splooge42 0
more like my life is awesome
XxMaiWeingxX 0
nice...
itzcool4me 0
Unless you know her coworker's # for sure, it could be a guy and she's covering it up by putting the woman's name
Nightfallz 0
ydi for reading her phone. you obviously don't trust her enough to be married
Gwenhyvar 3
Don't jump to conclusions about trust issues between a couple when they could just be comfortable enough to trust each other to read their txt messages. I know that if my fiancée got a text message as I walked past his phone I'd pick it up and read it to him, and he'd do the same for me. Lets just hope it was sent to the wrong number.
caancoha 0
Why do I not care? Wow, she's cheating on you. It's probably karma. Did you run over any hobos?