Today, I punched my wife in the face, because she jumped out from behind the bedroom door in the dark. I'm afraid of the dark. I'm 21. FML
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Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML
Today, there was a knock at my door, and I was greeted by a punch to the face. The man was the extremely angry "fiancé" of the girl I've been married to for just over a year. FML
Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
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Top comments
genius_man16 1
WTF is wrong with YOU?! Is it young? Yes, but who the hell are you to pass judgments on people just because of their age? For all you know they have been dating since they were 11. Just because YOU aren't ready for marriage doesn't mean other people aren't. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being married at 21.
protooler31 0
why is everyone so surprised/shocked at someone being married at 21? Maybe he knocked her up, and did the right thing as a man and married her. I mean, getting married at 21 is certainly not nearly as controversial as marrying off your 15-16-17 year old daughters as was done in centuries past...
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Comments (272)
RPGod 0
Today, I jumped out at my husband in the dark, and he punched me in the face. FML
ohnoyouDINT 0
YDI for having a ******
RPGod 0
Today, I jumped out at my husband in the dark, and he punched me in the face. FML
megamango 0
why the **** do you instinctively just punch in the face???
lightningthunder 0
What's wrong with being married at 21? Although in this case, OP is too immature to get married...
JanisEvans 10
You're 21! You should be in college, you should party with friends, you should NOT be married.
MrsLeesha05 0
I'm 21. I got married at 17. I'm in NURSING SCHOOL. My husband is taking classes to become an EMT. He's only a year older than I am. You're ignorance shows. A lot. Maybe you should think before you post. People can be married AND go to college. In fact I also happen to have kids and am going to college. So FYL for being an ignorant moron.
JanisEvans 10
well, they will be divorced soon enough...
girlygirl666 0
Hey **** You, you arrogant bitch! Who the hell do you think you are telling him if he should be married or not? Who the hell asked you? And then you smugly fortell that "he'll be divorced soon anyway"? I hope if some asshole was dumb enough to marry your ignorant ass, he divorces you, after he punches YOU in the face.
girlygirl666 0
You tell her! And good for you! She sounds like a real asshole, doesn't she? She must be jealous. Hahaha, probably either can't get anyone to marry HER, or somehow she did and she knows he can't stand her.
ddrluna 2
I like to reply to myself to fortify my own arguments too. But seriously, I do agree. **** you for assuming that sort of thing is just naturally going to happen. It's people with attitudes like yours that have made divorce so common these days.
MrsLeesha05 0
Could have mistakenly replied to themselves because the ignorant moron had 2 comments in a row and we both replied to one and could have meant to reply to me, or a brain fart and didn't realize they posted it [which I've done that in I.M. conversations.]
girlygirl666 0
Yeah- *blushes*. I did mean to reply to you. Oops...That dumb bitch just got me so mad!! Hahaha
DameGreyWulf 1
Butting in, but, I really hate the "you're just jealous!" argument. It makes no sense. Can't people just genuinely hate or disagree with or say anything negative about something/someone? No, they're all just jealous, obviously... "You're ugly." "You're just jealous." "I think pot should be illegal." "You're just jealous." "You suck at drawing." "You're just jealous." "Your mom is a bitch." "You're just jealous." "I think being married at 21 is too young." "You're just jealous." IT MAKES NO ******* SENSE NO MATTER THE CONTEXT. PEOPLE CAN BE NEGATIVE AND NOT BE JEALOUS, JUST SO YA KNOW. And "you're just jealous" makes you sound like one of those overly preppy bitches who can't face facts. Not that there are any facts to be faced here, of course. I'm just butting in on an argument I have no real opinion on, but if you're going to argue and want to be taken seriously, for the love of god don't say "you're just jealous" - it's about as useful (to you) and true (about them) as "you're just sad you have dandelions in your yard" or something, and as effective and point-making as "oh yeah well shut up."
girlygirl666 0
Ok- so DON'T butt in unless you have something useful to say. And DON'T tell me what I can and cannot say. The jealous part was only a small part of my argument, so work on your reading comprehension. Also, maybe I am a preppy bitch. You don't know, do you? So, kindly **** off.
DameGreyWulf 1
It is no part of your argument since it neither makes sense nor does it help at all, it just makes you look like a twit who can't handle arguing.
lolwatlol 0
YDI for having dark
gclunax 0
... Wats wrong with being married at 21?? My sister was about to get married nd shes almost 17..
lolwatlol 0
Totally not wrong.
IreadFMLnaked 0
I hope you're kidding, cause that is wrong on so many levels.
letitbe56 0
Because what she does on her wedding night would otherwise be illegal? I mean, that's just weird. She can't even vote! Besides, at 17, what do you know about life?
misssweetie 0
I completely agree with you. I'm only 19 and I've matured so much in the past 2 years. And most people would have said that I was mature for my age at 17. Your not ready so young!
elara15 0
Miss Sweetie, perhaps you could redirect all your self-proclaimed maturity into your intelligence. It's "you're," the contraction form of "you are." If most people "would have said," then they didn't actually say.
onnielief 4
That is sooooo wrong. Isn't the legal age without parental consent 18? That is wrong on way to many levels!
Marie_Murder 0
haha.
donovanrammstein 3
Nice cover story. I'm guessing the state stopped believing that your wife was hitting her head on doorknobs.