Work: Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been...

By fuck my eyeballs - 01/12/2013 23:07 - United States - Rancho Palos Verdes

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 096

You deserved it 22 270

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Same thing different taste

By fat and broke - 28/06/2015 07:17 - United States - Federal Way

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 877

You deserved it 4 612

By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:50 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 711

You deserved it 1 847

By Anonymous - 25/04/2009 13:51 - United States

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 412

You deserved it 85 227

By Sarah-D - 29/07/2016 05:31

Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 254

You deserved it 2 253

By embarrassedmom - 31/08/2013 23:48 - United States

Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 326

You deserved it 4 234

Officer McGiggles

By ACAB - 16/09/2019 20:00 - Australia

Today, I got pulled over for speeding. After the cop asked for my license, he started laughing when he saw my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 490

You deserved it 232

Overreach

By VroomVroom - 04/03/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, at a red light, an old lady crossing the street fell right in front of my car. I got out of my car to help her. The light turned green and I was still helping the woman to her feet. An officer came by and ticketed me for "impeding the flow of traffic." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 089

You deserved it 3 505

By Anonymous - 29/06/2016 02:17 - United States - High Springs

Today, while working as a highway patrol officer, I pulled over my girlfriend for speeding and was required by law to ticket her. Another officer was with me, so I couldn't not ticket her without being reported. We share a joint account, so I basically ticketed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 415

You deserved it 2 754

By shook - 06/09/2017 14:00 - United States - Clermont

Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 077

You deserved it 11 919

By TheIrony - 19/07/2016 21:50 - United States

Today, while driving I saw a police car riding along next to me. Thinking about the news recently, I decided to give him a quick thumbs up and a smile to lighten up his day. He looks back, smiles, flips on his siren, and pulls me over for not paying attention to the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 169

You deserved it 3 536

Welshite 39

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Did she still get out of the ticket? I think we are all wondering that.

sunny013 8

Monday 2 December 2013 2:24

Be careful what you wish for OP. You just might get it…

Comments

graceinsheepwear 33

Monday 2 December 2013 5:35

oink.

brandoneyez1 25

Monday 2 December 2013 5:35

U deserved that!

maggiefox 25

Monday 2 December 2013 5:44

They were only semi deflated? Hahah. Let's be honest here.

adam_tajyar 10

Monday 2 December 2013 6:13

That's prolly a disturbing image you'll never recover from. Haha FYL

lc1989 10

Monday 2 December 2013 6:14

Haha! You sound like one the officers in my office. He's been hoping for the same thing!!!! This funny. Wish I could of been there to see your face!!

myeviltwin 20

Monday 2 December 2013 6:34

Unless she was WAY over the speed limit you should have given her a warning. Someday we will all be old and saggy. She tried right?????

MoellerCrusader 1

Monday 2 December 2013 6:45

Let me just go throw up really quick

Bumblebrea99 14

Monday 2 December 2013 7:21

And I thought seeing my own grandma in a bra was bad...

mstoffel 13

Monday 2 December 2013 7:25

That's hilarious. I wish you better luck next time.

bme1993 7

Monday 2 December 2013 8:55

Well that's what you get for doing something for the wrong reasons.

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Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 046

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 701

You deserved it 1 016

The Top

Today, my boss came to see me because he'd heard that I was homeless. I'm not homeless, and the rumour was started by a friend of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 116

Today, I was testing for figure skating. I was wearing a brand new custom dress that was a halter top. On my first move, I tripped and fell flat on my face. Immediately after retaking the move, my dress snapped open, exposing myself to the judges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 381

You deserved it 5 608

Today, I went to work at my job as a secretary. I had been given the task to file my boss's collection of Playboy magazines alphabetically by name of the centerfold. There was one for every month from the years of 1980 until now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 813

You deserved it 3 544

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he dated me was because he was lonely, and I looked lonely enough to like him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 157

Today, my recent ex-girlfriend posted a photo of herself on Facebook. It was a picture of herself in the arms of a half-naked male stripper. She posted it on my wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 350

You deserved it 5 297

Today, I was on a 3-way call with my wife and the bank. The bank said we didn't qualify for school loans, which means I have to drop out. As soon as the bank hung up, my wife stayed on the line to tell me she wants a divorce and that she regrets our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 856

You deserved it 217

Same thing different taste

Officer McGiggles

Overreach

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