Today, I crashed into a pole on purpose as a cop pulled me over for speeding. I figured the officer would feel bad for me and that the cost of fixing my car would be less than a ticket. He gave me one anyway. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was driving a little over the speed limit, when I saw a cop car waiting to join the road ahead of me. I quickly hit the brakes so they wouldn't have a payday with me. I hit the brakes too hard, lost control and almost ended up on someone's lawn. FML
Today, I was speeding a little on the highway. I thought I saw a police car, so I slammed on my brakes, causing the person behind me to rear end me. The "police car" I saw was just a broken down car on the side of the road. FML
Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because, "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML
Today, I was driving to work when a state trooper rammed into my car from behind, because he was on the cell phone and not paying attention. He gave me a ticket for "Failure to control speed to avoid a crash." FML
Today, while driving home, I saw a cop with a speed gun "hidden" by the side of the road. I went to slow down so the fuck-knob wouldn't be able to ticket me. I then had a brain-fart and floored the gas instead of hitting the brakes. Hello speeding ticket. FML
Today, I accidentally rear-ended an undercover police car. FML
Today, a cop rear-ended me. Then I received a ticket from him for driving too far under the speed limit. We were in a school zone. FML
Today, while I was driving, a police officer jumped out from the sidewalk and into my lane. I slammed on the brakes so I wouldn't hit him. He then gave me a ticket for "obstructing traffic." FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding and got a $200 ticket. After I pulled away, I decided to warn the next car about the cop up ahead by flashing my headlights. The next car was another cop. He didn't appreciate my "help". FML
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Top comments
ChristinePi 36
That's a special kind of dumb. I'm surprised the officer didn't give you another ticket for reckless driving on top of speeding or check to see if you weren't sober.
GhostFox 34
You need your license taken away, and quite possibly to have some sense beat into you for your complete willingness to risk killing someone to get out of a ticket that you know you deserve. Do the right thing, don't drive or breed.
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Comments (46)
ChristinePi 36
That's a special kind of dumb. I'm surprised the officer didn't give you another ticket for reckless driving on top of speeding or check to see if you weren't sober.
GhostFox 34
You need your license taken away, and quite possibly to have some sense beat into you for your complete willingness to risk killing someone to get out of a ticket that you know you deserve. Do the right thing, don't drive or breed.
Zachary8261 28
Please don't experience the miracle of sex. You're children will come out with an IQ of 2.
Lalala579121 28
Oh the irony.
Elizabeth McElveen Horne 19
Your *
ThrottleJockey 36
Only if OP has three kids and you combine their IQ's.
rodfergie 18
Not only do YDI.... You're an idiot on top of that.
thehaystackerine 20
slow clap
RichardPencil 32
Sell your car and Uber everywhere you need to go. I’d recommend a bicycle, but I think you’re too stupid to operate one. Even the most modest tap into a pole with cause more damage than the cost of a speeding ticket (unless you were close to breaking the sound barrier.) Plus, the cop could give you a hefty ticket for crashing into the pole.
daengh 15
You wrecked your car to try to get out of a ticket? You *willingly* damaged your property which will definitely cost you time and money to fix to *try* to avoid paying a ticket that would only cost money and leave you with a perfectly usable car? YDI many times over.
Glowworm56 27
I think you deserved the ticket for that brilliantly stupid stunt you pulled in the hopes of avoiding a ticket.
Lobby_Bee 18
You don't do so well in math do you? Repainting one panel on your car is already more than your ticket, not to mention the other damages that you may caused. It's amazing you survived this long without seriously injuring yourself.
Koios 30
Future Darwin award winner