Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I found out my mom is still cheating on my dad with her ex boyfriend from her teenage years. She was caught last year, but apparently it's still going on. FML
Today, I came home in tears over finding out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. I told my seemingly sympathetic dad everything. His advice was to lure them both to our house with the promise of a three-way, after which he'd "kill the shit" out of them. Real mature, dad. FML
Today, I overheard my parents arguing over who had to tell me that I'm adopted. FML
Today, I learned my girlfriend was cheating on me. After giving her a second chance and meeting her parents for the first time, her father said at the dinner table, "I like the other guy better." FML
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML
Today, I found out the truth about my parents’ divorce and why our family is so distant. Turns out my dad had an affair with not one, but two of my mom’s sisters. And that my youngest cousin is also my half-sister. FML
Today, I realized what terrible people my parents are. They divorced because they were having knockdown, dragged out fights over constantly cheating on each other. Now they’re cheating on their current spouses… with each other. My stepparents deserve so much better. FML
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Top comments
Kalipczo 21
Well at least they're honest with each other.
FailBear920 19
Sounds like mom gets around. Sorry Op FYL
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Comments (127)
billyz77 24
Not dead. Thirty-five years faithful for me - and counting.
Stupend0us 7
Can you be positive he is actually your dad?
RedPillSucks 33
He's the dad if he helped raise OP.
DocBastard 40
more faithful* You can't be "most anything" in a group of two. Damned pet peeve.
Pleonasm 36
Yea, damned superlatives, why can't anyone get them right! It's like the more annoying thing I've ever read!
JAMSM 6
If you can't be most out of two, can you be the most out of one? I.E. "I'm the most awesome me ever."
Pleonasm 36
You're implying there are more than two of you by saying it that way, though.
JAMSM 6
Well, perhaps there are multiple of me.
Enslaved 38
I bet it drives you crazy when you're at the store's checkout and it reads: 10 items or less vs 10 items or fewer.
JAMSM 6
Oh really? If you could quantify ten items, people wouldn't show up with more, therefore, items in a store are not quantifiable and require the word 'less' rather than 'fewer'.
JAMSM 6
For those who cannot tell. That is purely satire, making fun of the people who show up to the ten items or fewer check-stand with fifty items.
Pleonasm 36
From my knowledge less is for mass nouns, items you can't count. So, it's "less shit on my face" because I can't count for shit. Hehe.
winkydog4056 16
How can anyone deserve to hear their parents fighting about who has been the worst *****?
dustyb90 4
Exact reason I stay single. People don't know how to stay faithful anymore.
Pleonasm 36
Choose better?
dustyb90 4
That's the thing, I always seem to think I am. I guess I am a poor judge of character.
Pleonasm 36
Thing is, that such a general statement leads to nowhere. First of all it's just not true because I and many others will never cheat; I have no reason to, I'm fulfilled. I hope you find someone: faithful people do exist. I guess it's kind of just luck and determination.
JAMSM 6
Don't worry. Faithfulness is still out there. Just find it. (Look in the right places is the main thing).
Obey_StudBoii 23
Faithful? Hmm sounds like he needs to go look that definition up In the dictionary.
JAMSM 6
The father is more faithful than the mother is what he means. Therefore, the mother has cheated at least three times.
User57777 13
That's awful!!
JAMSM 6
In pain comes understanding. We must now go to Slender Woods to help Slenderman through his problems... Who knows what happens to those kidnapped...
KaskStunter 4
As long as they take precautions...
WSA4005 7
I'm going though the same thing right now. It sucks