Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Prize
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Slacker
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
And they say romance is dead…
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Worthless
Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML
Top comments
Ninjerman 7
Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you
Chelserser 20
Better watch what he says or he'll have to get used to it. Hope he was joking though op! :)
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Comments (78)
trucker2 33
Put superglue in his lube...and tell him tonight to use ole Rosie Palm.
daddysgirl243 21
I Like how in the previous fml, everyone says the joke was innocent and obvious, yet this could have been one, and everyone jumps to the conclusion that she should dump him
reeper147 14
I totally agree. A girl can say she has another bf and that's a joke, but a guy talking to his friend must be sincere? Ridiculous
iiTzNeeNerz 26
I think it has to do with the fact that one told her boyfriend to his face while the other told a friend, behind OPs back and OP simply overheard. If he is using her for sex I don't think her finding out was in his best interest. It sounds like it slipped out and he didn't count on her actually hearing him say that. I hope she follows up.
Riceball__o3o 15
Don't jump to the conclusion that everyone is hating on this guy just because he's a man. While the previous girl said it straight to her boyfriends face, something nobody would do if they were serious, this woman accidentally overheard her boyfriend talking to a friend. If he would've said it to her face with a smile and a laugh, that would've been fine but he didn't.
SweetasCandy0609 28
so why stay with someone who is apparently just using you for sex? you have invested two years into this relationship already why invest in more time now that you know the truth you deserve better OP.
epicx22 22
That's horrible :(, hopefully you find someone who appreciates you for you. Don't let him get to you :).
reeper147 14
So a girl tells her bf that she is going to see her other bf, and that must clearly be a joke and he is humorless. But a guy joking with his friend that sex with his gf is better than being alone? Totally serious and he should be dumped. Really fml commented. REALLY?!?
Glaceia 10
The difference is that the girlfriend said that to her boyfriend's face. This girl overheard the possible joke meaning that she wasn't supposed to hear it and therefore less likely to be a joke. So while the fmls are similar, this is a key difference.
reeper147 14
The fact that he said it to a friend means it was just a joke. This is typical of guys, we are rarely open with our feelings. And while these kind of jokes are common between guys, joking about CHEATING is never funny and always in poor taste
leogachi 15
@58 Every joke depends on the people in the relationship. If my bf joked about using me, whether to my face or behind my back, I'd tell him once that it's not okay. If it happened again, he'd be single. Joking about cheating would be okay with me if it's always clear that he's joking.
Riceball__o3o 15
Don't be stupid, this has NOTHING to do with sex. The girl is the previous FML was smiling and said it straight to his face, while this girl overheard this guy talking to a friend. They're very different situations.
worldclassrager 41
You deserved to hear that so you can find someone better...WAY better
rebeccacmlc 22
Even if it was a joke, that's an awful thing to say, it's degrading and insulting. OP should have done something to let him know she was within earshot, to see his reaction .. I do hope it was a joke OP, if it wasn't then you certainly deserve better !
v4getknow 2
Sometimes, truth hurts someone.
igg125 30
So you're the other woman. His primary being his hand.
chocolatelover96 14
Tell him to improve his technique, as he'll be having to rely on it from now on.