Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Prize
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Bored
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Slacker
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Effective
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Libido
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
And they say romance is dead…
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Worthless
Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML
Top comments
Ninjerman 7
Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you
Chelserser 20
Better watch what he says or he'll have to get used to it. Hope he was joking though op! :)
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Comments (78)
shannon2348 14
are you sure he's your boyfriend and not just someone you have sex with? if he's truly your boyfriend I hope you called him out on what he said.