Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my boyfriend admitting that he's only dating me because having me around "sucks a bit less than fucking my own hand". FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd rather jerk off to sexy pictures of me than actually have sex, because he gets too tired. FML
Today, my boyfriend would rather jerk off than have sex with me. Even if I'm next to him in bed. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how he loves to "make a bitch bend over". We've been dating for 3 years, and haven't made love in several weeks. FML
Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend would rather jerk off to porn than to ever touch me, even if I wear a naughty outfit. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years accidentally admitted to me that he settled for me because he doesn't think he can do any better. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend of three and a half years told me he was leaving me for a girl he met at his Uni, because, “I’m tired of jerking off all the time and I need intimacy.” He’s only known her for two months. So the three and a half years together meant nothing to him then? FML
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Top comments
Ninjerman 7
Anyone who says "you deserve it" either has the worlds biggest fingers or is the world's biggest asshole. Hang in there, you'll find a guy that deserves you
Chelserser 20
Better watch what he says or he'll have to get used to it. Hope he was joking though op! :)
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Comments (78)
SailorKelly 7
Buy a vibrator and "accidentally" leave it in view next time he comes over. If he questions it just say, "well sometimes sex just isn't good enough."
ThatSupaNerd 5
You mean over heard your ex boyfriend right? Or if not hopefully it was just a joke?
drrobotnik1 18
the filter's smart enough to flag comments saying fmls are fake. can we add "you mean ex-boyfriend/girlfriend" to that list please ? it really clutters up the place.
dannnngthatsux 19
Run. Fast and far.
Fureq 4
I was waiting for the you mean ex boyfriend op comments
ratboy07 10
Knowing many guys, some are embarrassed to be in a serious relationship. He was probably bullshitting with a buddy of his, hope so OP
xellias 9
EX boyfriend I hope
Hop6e 22
What a jerk. I'm so sorry, hope you find someone a lot better soon, you sure deserve it.
BloodyGlass 10
*walks up to him* "Guess you're back to jerking, **** face." :D
Tyguy823 14
Find someone that will say they're dating you brave you're their best friend or they can't live without you not because jerking off isn't good enough for them.