Intimacy: Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's...

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 890

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 066

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 036

You deserved it 4 498

Common myth

By Anonymous - 01/04/2014 06:06 - United States - Eugene

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 765

You deserved it 7 949

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 780

You deserved it 5 451

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 776

You deserved it 6 059

Missing

By SignificantShrinkage - 08/10/2018 03:00

Today, I found out that when you gain too much weight, your penis can get significantly smaller. After noticing that things had been "off" in the bedroom, my girlfriend and I decided to measure it. There was significant shrinkage. I guess it's time to start working out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 954

You deserved it 1 904

"shortcomings"

By Anonymous - 24/02/2018 01:30

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other, or so I thought. I heard her on the phone with her sister saying that I’m definitely the smallest dick she’s ever had, but the size of my bank account encourages her to overlook my shortcomings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 906

You deserved it 631

By Mike - 21/02/2009 22:24 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100 904

You deserved it 7 650

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 313

You deserved it 6 275

Shaving!

By John Doe - 07/01/2020 05:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that if I shaved, my penis might seem bigger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 051

You deserved it 462

etchsanity1 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

You pointed out your tiny penis to your girlfriend ... Who may have once been a dude... Ydi

lovepandorasaver 11

Tuesday 9 October 2012 16:21

Well you single handedly ruined your relationship...

Comments

aliciamarie1 8

Tuesday 9 October 2012 19:15

Most people don't even notice that stuff unless someone brings it up. Ydi

Fmlsea 28

Tuesday 9 October 2012 19:57

And sex between you two shall be forever awkward !

sikkpsychodoll 3

Tuesday 9 October 2012 20:48

No lie my best friend had the same problem, so i told him to date girls wit small hands so everythinh they grab looks big on there hands.. Try it out

Hellbound_Alleee 14

Tuesday 9 October 2012 22:40

Wither way--that seems a tiny bit shallow for both of you. Really--all it takes is for her to have big hands? Am I watching Jerry Seinfeld here?

NicoleAshley10 0

Tuesday 9 October 2012 23:31

You should've kept that to yourself; now you no longer will get hand jobs.

sugoine 12

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:17

Swedish penis pump??

Accuraxy 10

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:38

How would pointing out your small dick be in any way beneficial? YDI

withered 30

Friday 22 July 2016 10:33

He needed to point it out so she actually noticed it.

AngelusCaedo 3

Wednesday 10 October 2012 0:50

6 inches is the average, get a ruler

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 10 October 2012 2:18

Why the hell would you point that out?

I3eefChowFun 7

Wednesday 10 October 2012 2:54

Bucky Larson, you're born to be a star.

Keywords

Art Kids Birthday Covid Health Relatable Love Transportation Awkward Cars Family Poopoo peepee Gross Neighbours Sex Intimacy Lonely Dreams Management Work Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Miscellaneous Friends Parents Abuse Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food

The Top

Today, while making deliveries, a lady answered the door stark naked and invited me in. I'm a young single guy so I went for it, but her husband was also there, ready to go with an enormous boner, so I ran to my van and went back to the depot. They reported me for bad customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 904

You deserved it 2 783

Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 875

You deserved it 23 115

The Top

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 675

You deserved it 2 576

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 449

You deserved it 9 686

Today, I began my job volunteering at an orphanage in Beijing, China, working with 7-year-olds who just started learning english. We played a game where, if you got caught, you had to sing a song. I got caught, so I chose the ABCs. They all knew the song perfectly, I missed 3 letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 869

You deserved it 78 811

Today, my mother told me I've gained so much weight recently, she thinks I should get gastric bypass surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 753

You deserved it 216

Today, I stumbled upon my girlfriend's Twitter account that I didn't know existed. A recent entry states that living with me is pathetic; "it's just that the current economical situation doesn't leave her with many options." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 760

You deserved it 2 823

Today, I've been yawning every few minutes. Which would be fine, except every couple of yawns my jaw dislocates, and I have to put it back in place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 189

You deserved it 339