By anonymous - 09/10/2012 05:53 - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 121
You deserved it 4 049

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Cock rings - the toddler edition.

That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.

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Cock rings - the toddler edition.

Ahhhhhh the joys of parenthood!

Use the old water and soap trick.! But avoid being peed on.

Hopefully your not Italian or you may have to kiss the ring

Concerning this Fml an the one before it, maybe rings should be placed there,and it is proof that rings don't plug holes!!!

Not so sure how happy I'd be to put that ring back on..

Threadjackers make me sad. :(

I'm sure it's no big deal for OP. It's her son who's 3. She's probably touched her sobs penis lots with diaper changes and stuff. It'd be different if he was older. But at that age it wouldn't be that big a deal.

How did a grammar nazi miss this one!

75- people who complain about threadjackers make me angry.

91- if her son was older and still managed to fit the ring around his penis, I'd be really, really sad.

Hahaha 32: you think OP should soap up the 3 year old's dick and slide the ring off?

Talk about an awkward visit to the emergency room.(if you had to go of course)

People act like anything that touches a dick is informed forever and can't be cleaned (as if it got dirty). It's skin, it ain't any different than touching any other part of your body. It's the same thing as if it touched the kids arm. Now STD's are a whole different story....

What have you been doing in front of that poor child for him to think something went on his penis at that young of an age?!

At least he didn't swallow it...

Kids these days...

That really must have pissed you off. Hope you got the ring off at least.

I pee what you did there.

#41: Oh, urine trouble now...

Well, it could have been worse... He could have swallowed it.

Better to be pissed off then... oh shoot never mind.

Cum on... Why do people always do these kinds of jokes? :P

Come on people! Mine was genuinely funny!

He could have shoved it up his ass.

Booooo???

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Sarcasm never works on the Internet..

It must have taken you minutes upon minutes, endless minutes, until you've come up with such an amazingly complex comment! That was a spectacular comment to read, 3! That's sarcasm... Not what you just did.

If the sarcasm's good you don't need to write it underneath.

Even though it was sarcasm, I still find the comment 100% inappropriate. Sarcasm or not you are still talking about a little kid.

That's quite disgusting, sarcasm or not.

i smell a pedobear

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She would probably rather he hadn't released any bodily fluids onto her....

Impossible anyways.

Uh he's three

You are obviously way to young to understand how that works. The kid is three years old. Go take a health class to understand.

He's three! You pervert.

I'm a guy, so I can tell you that if a three year old has hit puberty and can ejaculate then he has some sort of disease

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Actually the youngest parents were 8 and 9

#54: Yes, you are correct. The youngest pair of PARENTS were eight and nine. However, the youngest MOTHER was five. Her name was Lina Medina. The more you know...

Oh, how do you know so much about parents under the age of 10?

Google is my friend

She was five and had a rare condition called precocious puberty. She was also raped by her father. It's completely different.

How the.... I don't even.... What?!?! I want to know where the kid got that idea from! What on earth has he seen/heard to want to try that? But yeah, sorry OP, that must've been horrible to see and resolve...

It's cuz daddy left his porn out :p

Toddlers are curious creatures. Probably was as simple as that.

You would be amazed what toddlers decide to do with their penis without ever seeing anything to give them an idea. A lot of nephews and cousins and trips to ER.

Makes sense. Ring. Phallic object. 0+1=1. Unfortunately, he found this the hard way. Also, children are sexual but understand it in a different way than adults; therefore, a lot of times adults attach meanings that only make sense in an adult world. However, if a child does understand sex in a way closer to that of an adult, that's when I would question exposure.

it's a natural thing for toddlers to be interested in their ding dongs, it is a psychological thing really.

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Women take their rings off for a variety of reasons. I take mine off when I take a shower, do the dishes, etc. it doesn't make you a bad person or a cheater.

It was a joke

Mm yup. It most def. was a joke. Hi down there :)

It may have been a joke but it was not a funny one.

At least now you know to keep any ring like circular object away from him. This may include donuts, bagels, keychains, etc.

He must be as hung as a baby horse to fit snuggly into a donut or bagel.

^this comment made me crack up XD

Why would he even have thought to put it on there?!?!

He looked down, saw his penis, and he liked it so he put a ring on it.

If you are truly pregnant, you are in for a rude awakening when you have your child. Children do random stuff all the time.

I swear if I got rid of all my sons toys, he'd be ok because he has his penis to play with!

Kids today huh? My little brother managed to get 3 discs is my ps3 at once a couple months ago.

I would nock my lil brother out, I don't let anyone touch my xbox 360, Ive had it for about 4-5 years still works suprisingly.

Given the context of the FML, I thought you were saying something completely different about those CDs. Not a pleasant thought...