Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Better check your toothpaste.
uberletepoon 10
check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69
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Comments (271)
hideyoself 4
Owned indeed!
varkey 7
that's so ****** up... who would even think of making their younger brother rub their semen on?? Aside from being mean and extremely disgusting, that's almost like incest... your brother has some serious issues, you need to get him back for that (his friends too, if possible + they aren't the kind that would literally gang murder you over a prank), FYL [a lot].
jbtheone_fml 5
So your brother and his friends went and jerked off on purpose in the bathroom? kinda sounds like your bro might be a fag in a circle jerk.
Shadow_Phantom 26
*shudders* FYL...
meeba 2
you figured this out how...? ( I mean that friends were involved)
kportal69 5
how could you not tell it smelled like ****?
Levini 0
well at least it's not in their pants... try cleaning that up ... older bro m'bated on my bed and jizzed in pillowcase eeew it smelled
talktomandybaby 8
gross.beat the shit out of him.
pegasus187 9
gross
II_Heartless_Ray 0
wasnt it salty to you?
prettypinkpixie 9
why would the op notice if it was salty... it wasn't being eaten...
prettypinkpixie 9
wow YDI for not noticing a difference in the texture and smell