Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
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Top comments
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Better check your toothpaste.
uberletepoon 10
check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69
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Comments (271)
aimirking1 0
dude that sucks to be you but you should know what sperm looks like by now but then agin shampoo does look the same .epic fail on your part
sallen0046 4
Ejaculate smells nothing like hair gel. Even if you are completely inexperienced, you should have been able to notice a very distinct odor change, and after an entire month, a consistency change as well. I just don't buy this.
sleepygamer 0
While very viable observations, you would be surprised. Because the shift from mostly gel to mostly spunk is very gradual, a lot of people wouldn't notice it. I am certain there is a specific name for this effect, but human beings in general will not notice slight changes like that. It's a reproducible effect, I believe. Download Audacity, for instance, and tell it to create a 30 minute sine tone at whatever frequency. Start lower for better results, I think. Not crazy low, just low enough to allow for the changes. Then set the sine tone to gradually shift up in pitch across the 30 minutes. Nothing dramatic. Maybe go up a fifth, A to E or something. Then while you are doing anything at the computer (Homework, just Facebook chatting, or even just reading.) have the sine tone start to play just loud enough that you can hear it, but it's not annoying. By the end of the 30 minute length, set it to loop. What will happen (most likely, as this doesn't work on some people who are audio sensitive and the like) is you won't actually hear any perceptible shift in the sound, and when the loop comes around, you'll hear a sudden drop in pitch, and only then realise. Same principle, only over a shorted period of time and a different medium. tl;dr People barely notice gradual changes, because your brain fills in the gaps until you pay attention.
meridius4510 4
u didn't notice a slight difference in texture?
Silent_dream 0
it must be that new organic brand of gel
wakeNmakePIZZA 0
only 1 thing u can do with that bottle now XD
Silent_dream 0
btw @#66 why would it be on his face? it's being put in his hair. it's gel, not lotion (although he might wanna check all other liquid products hisher brother could get into)
ErinKidCannibal_fml 0
Am I the only one finding it weird that the older brother AND his friends fill up the EXACT same bottle.
Blaken_fml 0
Ewwie. :)
amarie2009 22
Your brother and his friends jacking off together in the bathroom? That sounds very gay to me!!!
IceColdOne 3
wow. sucks to be you