Today, I noticed that after a month of using my gel, it never seems to empty. I then found out my older brother and his friends had been pumping their man-juice into it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I wanted to top up my shower gel dispenser. After carefully squeezing the entire tube into the dispenser, I realized why it looked so white: I'd mixed the remaining shower gel with the entire tube of fancy, expensive, organic body lotion that my grandma had given me for Christmas. FML
Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
Today, while searching for the pungent odor that has been lingering in my son's bedroom, I discovered various types of juice my son has been "storing" to make wine. FML
Today, I found out why the amount of mouthwash hasn't been decreasing much recently when I walked in on my dad using it and then spitting some of it back in the bottle. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my younger brother decided it would be funny to put rubbing alcohol in my contact lens case while I had them soaking overnight. I didn't realize this until I put the first one in. FML
Today, while getting dressed, I discovered that when my brother and his friends got drunk last night one of them wanked into a pair of my panties and put them back in my wardrobe. The crusty mess pressed right into my groin. I had to clean dry spunk out of my pubic hair. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ROFLBERRYPIE 0
Better check your toothpaste.
uberletepoon 10
check your sunscreen in the summer too. unless you like SPF 69
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (271)
africanelephants 7
HAHAH just think about your bro and his friends all getting off to the thought of you rubbing there man juice in your hair!!
filomiir 3
Dude!!..wtf!!! ur brother and his friends r SICK..not to mention kinda gay!
perdix 31
"There's Something About Mary."
JohnFR33M4N 0
Payback time? Toss around some laxatives, hot sauce and such.
sugerplumfairy 0
lol just like in there's something about mary
iluvanimegurl 0
uuuuumm.... ew? :/
thegr8destroyer 0
rub your ass on his pillow and give him pink eye!
gpistas 7
literally.
rowbot4 0
just poop in his pillow case, it'll be a nice surprise for when he goes to bed!
pinklover24 13
rofl do something even worse back